Tips
Mar 10, 2021 09:23
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It’s been a month since I registered with Universe.
My rank is Black.
I used to work as a hostess in Ginza, and I own designer bags, watches, and jewelry that I received from clients back then or bought myself.
This is something the clients I had as a hostess and papas have in common: some dislike women who wear designer items, while others don’t mind them at all.
The ones who dislike it make snide remarks such as, “Who bought that for you?” “That’s ○○, right? How much did it cost? You’re wearing something pretty expensive,” or “You’ve been in the nightlife business—or doing papa-katsu—for a long time, haven’t you?”
Is this simply a reflection of that man’s personal values, or is it his assessment of me? Which do you think it is?
In the former case, I interpret it as: “Anyone who wears something this expensive must have a distorted sense of money and be expensive to support. She probably has other men supporting her, too.” I feel that they see me as nothing more than a source of money, so I distance myself from them.
In the latter case, I take it as: “Those brands don’t suit someone with your looks. Which old man did you sleep with to get them?” They sneer at me and I distance myself from them.
That’s how I interpret the situation.
Personally, I’m not particularly materialistic. When I wore designer items as a hostess, it was for personal branding and partly as a deterrent to filter out men who weren’t willing to spend much on women. (I’m sorry if that sounds unpleasant.)
With that in mind, I try to avoid wearing designer items when meeting a man for the first time. But honestly, most of what I own is designer, so I feel that deliberately buying reasonably priced items just for papa-katsu would be an unnecessary expense.
At a first meeting, I never know what kind of man I’m dealing with or what impression he’ll have of me, so I’m always unsure what the right approach is.
I’d appreciate hearing your opinions.
4 answers
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I’m not really familiar with brands, so I’m open to anything, haha.
If it’s a brand-name item that looks good on you, I think anything is fine. Personally, whether it’s designer or from a dollar store, if wearing it brings out an elegant, refined quality in the person, I’d say they have great taste!
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Kazu, a male member.
It depends on the person. Some men may be put off by women wearing designer brands, while others won’t mind.
People can only judge others based on their own values. If wearing designer brands was meant to keep away men who aren’t willing to spend much on women, then the reactions you described were probably exactly what you should have expected.
I don’t think a dating club is a place where you have to force yourself to date someone just to accommodate them. The right approach is to be yourself and look for someone who suits you.
So if you want to avoid men who don’t spend much on women, there’s nothing wrong with maintaining that attitude. Your concern stems from your values and actions being inconsistent.
🏅 大阪の昼寝引きこもりトレーダー
スペ90以下のひとを厚く囲い込み、一生面倒見て実質一夫多妻で大切にしたい独身です。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m in Seattle.
Overall, it’s probably a slight negative.
I don’t know anything about brands, so I can’t tell what I’m looking at. I don’t pay attention to bags or anything like that.
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this one too.
Thanks for your question.
> It was for my personal branding, and also served as a kind of bug repellent to keep men who don’t want to spend much on women away.
If that’s the case, I think it would be a good idea to use the same kind of “bug repellent” on your dating club profile as well.
That said, there’s also a chance that having it there could drive away some genuinely good people along with the ones you want to avoid.