I've been seeing a man for three years. We have dinner once a week, and once a week we go on an all-day date with an adult relationship, plus we meet monthly as if we're taking a trip together.
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I quit the dating club for now, but my rank at the time was Gold, and I received 150,000 yen a month.
Recently, after he lost money on an investment, he asked whether he should stop giving me an allowance—or reduce it.
I told him that, in that case, I might get another side job in addition to my regular nighttime part-time job. He said he had no right to stop me, but that he wanted me to quit.
We've been together like a couple all this time, but lately I've also felt that things may have started to get a little stale.
Is saying that even a practicing physician can't afford to pay 150,000 yen a month just an excuse because he no longer wants to spend money on me?
Or could he genuinely be short on money? I imagine it must take a lot of courage for a man to bring this up to a woman, but do you think he brought it up because he's already okay with cutting ties with me?
Money wasn't the only reason we were seeing each other, but I can't help thinking that perhaps I should register with the club again, even though I know that's not ideal, or wondering whether he has found another girl. What do you think? I would appreciate your advice.
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I’m with Kazu on this one!
It’s possible that the investment really did fail, and that they’ve also started to feel a little burned out lately.
That said, if the situation wasn’t simply about meeting because of the money, it might be worth reconsidering how you approach the arrangement.
As Kazu said, “It’s not easy to find a new good papa.”
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Maezawa from the President’s Office will answer this one as well.
Thank you for your question.
> They say they want me to quit, even though they have no right to stop me.
If they themselves say they have no right to stop you, then I think that’s the extent of your relationship.
You should consider registering with Universe again or finding a job.
First, try meeting some other men and going on dates with them.
That may help you see what your current partner is really like. If, even after meeting other men, you still feel that your current partner is the one you want, then I think you should continue seeing him.
On the other hand, if you used to think he was right for you but no longer feel that way, it’s perfectly fine to end things as they are.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Private-practice doctors receive unbelievably generous tax treatment—so much so that, once you learn the details, it’s almost absurd. I guess that’s why you can find people willing to take the job even in the most remote islands or backcountry areas. So what’s the real situation, I wonder…
It sounds like he probably wants to continue, but is starting to get bored with things staying the same as before.
And the fact that the allowance was set at 150,000 yen a month from the beginning makes me think she may not have been that much of a favorite to begin with.
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I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
I can only speak to the parts I know.
When someone says, “I have no right to stop you, but I wish you wouldn’t,” sometimes they’re only saying it because they think that’s the better way to put it. After all, there are women who would get angry if you said, “I have no right to stop you, so do whatever you want.” ^^
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
First of all, some doctors with private practices are doing well despite COVID, while others are struggling. Private-practice doctors were already divided between those who were doing well and those who weren’t, so it feels like the gap has widened. Also, if what this man says is true, I think he probably lost money on an investment and no longer has much financial leeway.
Generally, when a man asks to reduce a woman’s allowance, he’s probably prepared for the relationship to end. However, if he intended to move on to another woman, I don’t think he would tell her not to take on a side job.
Either way, you can no longer count on receiving an allowance from this man, so it may be better to register again and prepare for the future. As you know, it’s not easy to find a new good papa (a male supporter). I think it’s best to take action sooner rather than later.
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