After two years, a former papa contacted me and said he wanted to see me. We used to spend the night together for an allowance of 80,000 yen each time, but over the past two years my feelings have changed, and I now have a boyfriend, so I can’t have an intimate relationship anymore. However, I’m happy that he still cares about me, and I’ve missed talking with him about things like work. We’ve started emailing again, almost every day, but I only want to meet for dinner. What should I say to him in this situation? I feel like I may have already given him false hope.

Maezawa from the executive suite here. Thanks for your question. > What should I tell him in this situation? Something like this should work: “I have a boyfriend now, so I can’t have an intimate relationship with anyone else. But I really enjoy talking with you, so would you be willing to meet for dinner only? If not, I’ll understand and let it go.” I think men generally expect an adult relationship (intimate), so I’m not sure what will happen afterward. That said, if you’ve been intimate in the past, some men may be okay with meeting just for dinner. It really depends on which type he is.

I’m Kazu, a male member. If you’d still like to go out for a meal, you could say: “Thank you for everything before. I’m looking forward to having dinner with you, ○○, but I’ve stopped doing papa-katsu, so I’d like to keep it to dinner only.” I also considered going to dinner without setting expectations beforehand and turning him down if he invited me to an adult relationship (intimate). But if you do that, being asked might leave a bad impression and spoil your good memories with your papa (a male supporter).