I found out that my fun-loving papa, who often goes out drinking, was seeing other girls, and I got extremely jealous and confronted him. At the time, I told him, “I’ve never been cheated on before (I usually became very close with my boyfriends and spent a lot of time together, so none of my relationships have ever ended because of cheating), so even though you’re my papa, being cheated on still hurts.” Ever since then, my papa has been teasing me about it.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. I’m sorry for the jaded answer—I’ve been feeling pretty jaded lately. From an outsider’s perspective, it’s a little embarrassing because it looks like “you’re both misunderstanding the situation.” Your papa isn’t your boyfriend, and you aren’t his girlfriend. Isn’t your papa happy because he’s getting carried away, mistakenly thinking that you like him so much you’re jealous? For grown adults, it’s a little embarrassing. You should try to look at the situation a bit more calmly, too.

I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this as well. Thank you for your question. As you said, there’s a 20-year age gap, so I think what made him seem childish to you was the fact that he went out of his way to say, “I’ve never been cheated on before.” I think the reason he started teasing you after that is because he’s happy that you’re the first person who has ever reversed the power dynamic between you. To reverse the dynamic again, you’d have to start seeing other men and be able to say something like: “Sorry, I’m going on a date with another papa (a male supporter) that day. We’ll be done by 8 p.m., so I might be able to see you for a little while afterward.” I think it would be difficult otherwise. However, this approach only works if he’s really into you. If he isn’t, it will probably lead to a breakup. If you’re okay with that possibility, I think it’s worth trying. The key is not to think or say anything about cheating at all. That’s really all there is to it. It doesn’t matter to you whether one of the many papas sees another woman. You won’t be able to take the upper hand until you reach that point.

I’m Kazu, a male member. He’s happy that you’ve become attached to him. I think he’s absolutely thrilled that you’re in a relationship where there are genuine feelings involved, not just an allowance. He could be a little more straightforward, but since he’s older, he probably feels embarrassed saying things like that.