When starting BDSM play, do you discuss it beforehand, or introduce things gradually? I’m quite dominant and usually approach women who seem very experienced, but the woman I approached last month had only ever had vanilla sex. We’re compatible, so I’d like to continue seeing her, but she has no BDSM experience and it would be her first time.

I’m in Seattle. It’s important to make sure you’re both on the same page before moving forward. Since it can be difficult for men to bring it up, women who are interested might want to say it themselves. It really helps when you’re upfront about what you want.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well. Thanks for your question. > The girl I made an offer to last month had only ever done vanilla. I assume you’ve already talked about whether she’s interested in BDSM and whether she’s tried it before. From there, I think you should take things slowly, communicate clearly so she doesn’t feel afraid, and make sure you don’t do anything she’s uncomfortable with.

I’m Kazu, a male member. Thank you for this question, which is refreshingly true to the asker’s desires after such a long time. I’m not quite sure I understand the question. Are you asking whether, when engaging in BDSM, I discuss the details of the play with the woman beforehand? If so, of course I do, and I get her consent first. Play without consent is out of the question. Doing something a woman doesn’t want isn’t play—it’s assault. If you’re asking whether I gradually introduce the things I want to try each time we meet and get her consent little by little, then yes, that’s what I do. More than deliberately introducing things bit by bit, it’s simply my preference: I enjoy and find it arousing when a woman gradually allows me to do more as we build trust. So it happens naturally. That’s why women who say “bring on any kind of hard play from the start” aren’t my type, and I’ve never looked for anyone like that on Universe. I didn’t know there was a way to find women like that on Universe.