When we’re eating or at a café, girls sometimes suggest sitting side by side even when there isn’t a counter. We sit close enough for our shoulders to touch, which makes it easy to talk and is nice, but I’ve never sat that way with girlfriends when I was younger or even with my wife now, so it feels a little embarrassing and unfamiliar.
Do you prefer sitting directly across from each other, or side by side? And in what kind of situation would you want to sit side by side?
For reference, here are the answers I got from the girls:
・Because I’m not confident being looked at straight on.
(I’m not confident either—I have a big face.)
・Isn’t it easier to hold hands and share food that way?
(Exactly. My favorite answer.)
・It makes me feel relaxed, so I want you to put your hand on my stomach.
(It makes eating difficult.)
・(At brunch the morning after staying over) I want you to keep your hand on my leg.
(No, that makes eating difficult.)
・Sitting directly across from each other feels like a job interview, and somehow makes it feel like we’re doing battle, so it’s not relaxing.
(Though we did battle in bed last night.)
Side by side… It reminds me of the family game scene in an old movie, and I feel like I might end up slurping fried eggs, haha.
This is Maezawa from the president’s office.
Here’s my second answer. (lol)
I was browsing Twitter recently and came across someone who wrote:
“Counter seats are so much easier because you don’t have to make eye contact with your papa. Even if he keeps staring at me, I absolutely refuse to look anywhere but straight ahead.”
So she wants to sit beside him because she doesn’t have to look at the man.
That’s terrifying...
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I’m also firmly in the face-to-face camp (lol).
I don’t know how to put it exactly—I just feel like I want to face things head-on.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member who likes sitting side by side.
These days, sitting side by side could also be seen as a way to help prevent the spread of COVID-19.
It’s easier to sit side by side in a tucked-away spot or on a sofa, but sitting that way on chairs at a table in the middle of the room can feel a little awkward. Still, since we’re being encouraged to avoid sitting face-to-face and exchanging droplets, I think it works out well.
When you sit side by side, you can speak quietly, which makes it easier to talk about things that would be difficult to discuss in a loud voice—whether or not other people are around. I like that it lets you talk about all kinds of things.
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I’m Kazu, a male member who prefers sitting across from his date.
I don’t like sitting side by side, so I can’t really understand the people who advocate for it. I also don’t like touching a woman outside a private room, so the explanation that some people feel uncomfortable being looked at straight on makes the most sense to me.
Even in a private room, I feel embarrassed if the staff can see us, so I still prefer sitting face-to-face.
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here.
Thank you for your question.
Maybe it’s because he likes you? Sitting side by side is the seating arrangement that brings people closest together, so it seems like you’ve become that intimate—or that he wants to become more intimate with you.
If it bothers you, going to a private room at a restaurant with private rooms might help you feel more comfortable.
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