I was told he had a girlfriend but wasn’t married. However, it turns out he has a wife, and apparently she hired a private investigator who took photos of me walking around with him. What should I do if his wife says she’s going to sue me?

I’m Saito♪, a column writer. I actually get consulted about this kind of trouble fairly often. This was a woman I was seeing who came to me for advice. Did his wife contact you directly? First, make sure you listen carefully to what his wife has to say. Then, never meet him again. That man probably isn’t seeing only you. I’ve never heard of a case where someone went on to sue every woman he was seeing through the dating club. Also, don’t answer any calls at all. Changing your phone number is another option.

I’m Rula, a male UC member and a member of the new salon. As Maezawa-san said, there are various ways to protect yourself. However, in my experience, even if you carefully gather evidence for your defense, simply being sued by the other party—or having them involve lawyers—can be extremely stressful. That’s why my recommendation is this: while it’s certainly important to collect evidence, you should also set aside in advance the amount of damages you might have to pay if you’re sued. For example, if you receive an allowance of 100,000 yen, rather than spending it all, you could put aside around 20,000 yen for that purpose. In my experience, disputes involving affairs and the like ultimately come down to money. If you’re prepared to pay around 2–3 million yen, even losing outright to the other party would probably cause relatively little damage. Even if you did lose completely, your current standard of living wouldn’t be ruined, so you’d be able to stand up to the other party with confidence. I hope this helps.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here. First, gather evidence that the man told you he was single. For example, a recording like: “You told me you were single, right?” → “I did.” Or a LINE exchange such as: “You said you were single, right?” → “I did, but I was lying. I’m sorry.” Make sure to keep that evidence safe. If you’re sued, it may help you defend yourself. What matters is being able to show that you asked him directly, he lied and told you he was single, and nothing about his actions gave you reason to suspect otherwise. If you can properly establish those points, you’ll have a better chance of protecting yourself. If you have solid evidence like that, there’s no need to be afraid even if you’re sued. After all, he really did tell you he was single. From here, it’s all about the evidence. Also, if all they have are photos of you two simply walking together, it would probably be difficult for him to sue you. Normally, they might have photos of you entering or leaving a hotel. If there are no photos like that, I don’t think you have much to worry about.