I had been seeing a man regularly for over six months whose catchphrase was “I have no money.” He was young and genuinely seemed to be struggling with his business. We parted ways a year ago after his business started having difficulties, but recently he contacted me and asked if we could meet again.
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However, he said, “Since I want to make sure I properly give you travel expenses if we meet, I’ll contact you next month.” When he never did, I messaged him, only to be told, “I still don’t have any money this month, so maybe in two months…”
I wanted to see him as a man, so I told him, “I’m fine with just having tea without any travel expenses.” But he replied, “I’m sorry, I really don’t have any money. I’ll contact you again,” leaving things on hold.
What do you think his state of mind or situation is?
I’m Ruura, a UC male member and a member of the new salon.
As the other respondents have said, there are all kinds of business owners. There may be times when money simply isn’t coming in.
With that in mind, I think the man contacting you is probably thinking, “I should at least stay on her radar so we don’t just drift apart.”
Since you had been seeing each other regularly for more than six months, I don’t think he suddenly lost interest and distanced himself.
Personally, I think it would be best to tell him, “Let’s not meet until you’re able to prepare the money.”
He would probably be happy if you said, “I’ll see you even without an allowance,” but meetings arranged through a dating club are based on the understanding that an allowance will be paid. If you overturn that arrangement, things could quickly become much more serious—for example, genuinely considering marriage.
It also sounds like he wants to see you once he can properly prepare the allowance himself.
How about replying along the lines of: “I understand. Please get in touch when you’re in a position to meet with travel expenses covered. I’ll be waiting. Good luck with work!”
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This is columnist Saito♪.
I didn’t get the impression that this man is such a bad person. It doesn’t sound like he wants to meet for free; rather, he wants to make sure he properly pays his respects if they meet.
What’s more, even though you said you’d be willing to meet him for free, he still hasn’t agreed to see you… It makes me wonder whether his business really isn’t doing well.
As with anything, when someone’s business isn’t going well, there are times when they simply can’t think about women, and may not even have the energy to meet.
There may not be anything you can do, but perhaps it would be best to wait and pray that his business works out.
Sorry for the speculation.
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