What’s the right way to handle my papa’s birthday?

I’m Saito, a columnist♪ I read momo’s answer and thought, “As expected—she really knows her stuff.” Honestly, I don’t need anything in particular for my birthday. There was a woman who once looked up my birthday on a website or somewhere and celebrated it with me. Rather than giving me something tangible, she chose “disappearing” gifts—like taking me to a restaurant and making me a homemade cake. I really appreciated that thoughtfulness. Later, I found out how much the restaurant had cost and returned the favor with a gift worth ten times as much. Ever since then, though, I’ve avoided seeing her during that month every year. Just a feeling I have.

I’ll answer for both the “president’s office” and Maezawa. What makes a man happy varies from person to person, so I’m not sure there’s one right answer, but... Generally speaking, I think you should first ask about his birthday. If he doesn’t tell you, then you wouldn’t know, so it’s fine if you can’t do anything. But if he does tell you, I think you should make an effort not to forget it. It also seems like a good idea to keep his birthday open as a date day and be available to meet. However, since he has his own schedule, the date may end up being moved to the day before or another day at his convenience. Then, on the day of the date, even if it’s nothing expensive, I think he’ll be happy if you give him a gift you chose yourself.

I’m BB7, a male member. Some women seem to think, “I get all kinds of things from men, but I don’t have to do anything for them. I’m entitled to receive things, and I’d never even consider doing anything for my papa other than going on dates.” I sometimes wonder if that might be why some women complain that their arrangements don’t continue or last very long. Even if you usually receive an allowance from your papa and have meals paid for, I’d still like you to show a little thoughtfulness—at least send him a message on his birthday, or give him a small thank-you gift, even if you don’t see him that day. Something worth 1,000 or 2,000 yen is perfectly fine. What I want is the feeling of gratitude. If she said, “You don’t need to give me an allowance today,” or “I’ll pay today,” and covered even an inexpensive izakaya meal, I’d probably repay her twice over. (Though deliberately doing it to get that reaction would feel a bit calculated.) Whether or not someone can show that kind of small consideration may be what determines whether they’re cherished or simply cut off. Even when it comes to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it’s still a relationship between two people, so it’s no different from ordinary human relationships. It’s the principle of reciprocity—we naturally want to return the kindness we receive. I believe a relationship is something two people build together, so being considerate of each other is probably what helps it last.

I’m Rula, a male member of UC and the new salon. I do think it can leave a bad impression if you give them nothing at all. This assumes that you’ve already developed a fairly close relationship with the woman. Some birthday-related experiences that made me happy were: - On her birthday, I asked, “I’d like to get you a present. What would you like?” She replied, “I’d like a matching item with you, so I want a pair of the same watches you often wear.” The watch cost around ¥30,000, and she knew that. It wasn’t an excessive or unreasonable amount for a man to spend on a woman, and on top of that, she wanted to have something as a pair. I fell for her all over again and thought she was both smart and kind. - On my birthday, she brought me homemade cookies. She said, with a smile, “I thought about buying something to celebrate your birthday, but no matter what I bought, it would feel like I’d paid for it with your allowance, so I made you cookies instead.” (^_^) That made me really happy. Depending on whether the male supporter is married, some men may actually prefer something consumable, like homemade sweets. Whether it’s a handkerchief or a tie, giving a physical gift could potentially lead to his wife finding out because of it. I think it’s best to consider the other person’s circumstances.