I’m Saito♪, a column writer.
I think exactly as you do, questioner. That’s why I asked.
◆ Women who work in the adult entertainment industry
There’s nothing as time-consuming and cumbersome as a dating club, but they stay registered just in case an exceptionally good man comes along. It’s free, after all.
◆ Women who only do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)
They don’t want to sink into the adult entertainment industry.
Exactly.
It seems papa-katsu isn’t considered part of the adult entertainment industry. (At least, they don’t seem to acknowledge it as such.)
However, I’ve seen many cases where, if a woman doesn’t receive any offers through papa-katsu, a scout encourages her to enter the adult entertainment industry.
Papa-katsu feels a bit like a mildly addictive legal drug.
I sincerely hope you’ll exercise strong self-control and meet someone wonderful.
I’m BB7, a male member in his late 40s.
> In my experience, men who aren’t obsessed with sex, treat women as fellow human beings, and can build a natural relationship without forcing things tend to be more generous and have longer-lasting arrangements.
I think there are more men like that at dating clubs than on online dating sites.
> This may sound harsh, but do you really want money badly enough to flatter men who see women as nothing more than disposable masturbatory aids?
> I think women should have enough pride to say, “Men like that can forget it—I wouldn’t want them anyway.”
I agree that women should have pride as well.
There may be male members who see women as disposable masturbatory aids, but I think they’re in the minority.
I think it’s an extreme generalization to assume that men who are eager for sex don’t value women or see them as nothing more than masturbatory aids.
Both men and women are free to use dating clubs however they choose, but sex is an important factor for most male members. The fact that Type A women receive very few offers proves that. And the reason most men get so angry when someone who is really Type A falsely presents herself as Type C is, even if it’s stating the obvious, that most men are looking for someone they can also enjoy sex with.
When it comes to the terms of an arrangement, I think it’s perfectly natural for both men and women to want to continue seeing someone they enjoy having sex with. So I don’t think there’s anything strange about a woman improving her sexual skills or making an effort so her partner doesn’t lose interest. Many men naturally want to treat women well when they see that she enjoys being intimate with them and wants to please them.
On the other hand, men generally don’t feel inclined to treat a completely passive woman, someone who responds reluctantly, or someone who acts as if, “You should be satisfied just because you get to sleep with me,” particularly well. In those cases, they’ll often decide after just one or two meetings that they’ve had enough. I think it’s the same as how women wouldn’t want to continue seeing a man who treated them carelessly in bed.
Whether it’s the Type B issue or sexual skills for maintaining a relationship, I don’t think it’s strange that more and more people are posting and asking questions about these topics on this forum. If anything, sex is an unavoidable issue as long as you’re in a relationship, so both men and women should think about it more seriously.
“Put your pride aside and go to a sex worker.”
⇒ That sounds like it looks down on sex workers, so I don’t agree with that way of thinking.
Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here.
That’s pretty harsh.
I think it’s better not to separate the platonic and physical aspects, but to view them as inseparable and part of the same relationship.
In shōjo manga, a purely platonic relationship might work, but in real life, it’s probably better to see both aspects as interconnected—and to recognize that both are important.
Many men who register with dating clubs seem to be looking for exactly that.
Of course, some people lean more toward one side or the other.
If this is aimed at people who are heavily biased one way, then I think there’s some truth to it. But if it’s aimed at people who aren’t, it feels a little harsh.
Still, I assume it was probably directed at the former group.
There are all kinds of people out there—such is life. It’s a world with both good things and risks, so I hope everyone can have the best possible encounters.
