Tips Sep 6, 2019 09:47

I’m a Black male member.

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Regarding subsequent dates with a woman who has explicitly told the club she wishes to withdraw because she wants to pursue a relationship with a specific person I have read the related questions and answers. For reference, I have experienced this twice from the “specific person” side and once from the “unmotivated date” side. ◆【Wishes to withdraw】or【Wishes to take a leave】 Based on my experience, even if a man is told that a woman has expressed her wish to【withdraw】, I suspect that she has probably actually expressed her wish to【take a leave】. ◆Does the club inform the man in advance when a woman wishes to【take a leave】? At least, I was not informed. During the date, I asked about the situation and told her, “I don’t know that person, but I hope you’re able to have a good relationship.” Immediately after I sent her a thank-you message following the date, the woman in question disappeared from the site. My registered branch is the Nagoya branch. I have already raised the matter with them directly and received an explanation, although the excuse was impossible to understand. Therefore, I do not plan to contact Mr. Maezawa. Question According to President Maezawa’s answer, the club’s policy is to inform the man in advance if the woman wishes to withdraw. Is the same policy followed when she wishes to take a leave? I also find it somewhat absurd that male members are apparently expected to write something like “Please do not introduce me to women who wish to withdraw” in their profiles. In addition, as many of the male respondents commented, my true preference is to avoid dates with women who are not approaching the relationship positively, whether they wish to take a leave or not. A few people answered that the situation should simply be turned around, but since there are apparently people with that kind of outlook, I feel even more strongly about avoiding such dates. I apologize for troubling you while you are busy, but I would appreciate your response.
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Age: Private 👨 Male Universe staff
I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office. > Based on my experience, even when a man is told that a woman wishes to “withdraw,” I get the feeling that she probably actually said she wanted to “take a break.” I see. From the staff’s perspective, withdrawals are more common. In the first place, I think more women are unaware that taking a break is even an option. > Is it the same when she wishes to take a break? I don’t believe there were any specific rules regarding breaks. However, there can be various reasons for taking one. For example, if she says, “I’m receiving too many offers and can’t fit any more into my schedule,” that doesn’t mean she has lost interest. So I imagine the decision would be that dates whose scheduling has already been completed and confirmed would still be fine. (In other words, she would still go on those dates.) This is slightly off-topic, but even in the case of withdrawal, there are women who still want to continue but have to leave for various personal reasons. In such cases, after receiving notice of her wish to withdraw, we have sometimes contacted the men who had added her to their favorites and asked, “Given the circumstances, would you like to make an offer before she withdraws?” If she wants to withdraw, but the staff explain that taking a break is also an option, and she says, “In that case, I’ll take a break for now,” I feel her feelings are essentially the same as wanting to withdraw. So I believe the basic approach would be to ask the men. > It struck me as somewhat comical that male members should write in their profiles something along the lines of, “Please don’t contact me if you plan to withdraw.” My apologies. It was a last-resort measure. Basically, when we receive notice that a woman wishes to withdraw, we ask the men what they would like to do. So this is simply a precaution for cases where that doesn’t happen. It would be enough if Universe properly confirmed everything, but each branch has considerable authority. So this ended up being a discussion of precautions in case a branch manager makes a different decision or follows a different policy.
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