There’s a woman I see regularly, but lately I feel like I’ve become a little too emotionally invested, and I get the impression that she may be pulling away.
At first, I told myself it was "just for fun," but I’ve gradually started taking it seriously, and even I’m a little confused by it.
Maybe taking her out to various places wasn’t such a good idea, either.
From next time onward, I’m considering limiting things to dinner and a hotel in order to keep my feelings in check.
The problem, I suppose, is that there’s a gap between my feelings and hers. At this rate, I’m just going to look like a creepy old guy.
What should I do in a situation like this?
I don’t know how to sort out my feelings and create some distance.
I’m thinking I should find a few other women to keep things casual with, but I haven’t been able to find anyone who feels like more than that.
I met more than 20 women over the course of a year, but she’s the only one still around.
She has already left the site’s Standard plan.
You really never know where a connection will lead.
I’m Saito, a columnist♪
She was a Standard woman and has already left the club...
I see. Haha.
You may feel tempted to get worked up, but above all, I think the best thing is to make an effort to stop spending time thinking about her.
Meeting other women or throwing yourself into your work could both be good options.
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Maezawa from the president’s office here.
The simplest solution would be to put some distance between you, but that’s difficult, isn’t it?
If so, I think one of these two approaches might work:
1. Make offers to other women and date several women at the same time, so you can force yourself to create some distance.
2. Increase the allowance you give her.
With option 1, the fact that the standard-tier woman was the best probably means you’re being drawn to her personality. Why not ask the staff to introduce you to someone with a great personality—someone whose inner qualities stand out, regardless of her looks?
Staff can sometimes be misled during a short interview, but if you go on dates with five or six women who fit that description, I feel you’ll eventually meet someone whose personality is just as appealing as the woman you’re starting to become serious about.
I get the impression that women with great personalities are more common in the standard and gold tiers.
As for option 2, I’m suggesting it as a way to bring her back if she’s started pulling away a little. Honestly, women with good personalities don’t seem particularly interested in the amount of the allowance, but it might still be worth trying.
Even if she had pulled away somewhat, there’s a chance she might return to the distance you had before.
That said, women are sensitive to changes in a man’s attitude—such as acting as though he deserves something because he’s giving them more—so you need to avoid coming across that way.
It would be better to frame it simply as adding a little extra as a token of appreciation.
> For future meetings, I’m thinking of limiting things to dinner and a hotel so I can keep my feelings in check.
If she is starting to pull away, that might be a good idea. Sometimes women want that kind of distance as well.
Still, relationships between men and women are complicated.
People can sometimes be told out of the blue that it’s over, without even knowing why, so I feel it would be better to go with option 1…
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