For those whose papa rents a house for them or buys them a condo, how often does he come over?

I have enough income and assets that I wouldn’t need to work, but I do work. Probably because I’m competent. I have at least one hobby—something to do with the ocean. I don’t have many friends, but that’s because I’m selective. I’m single and in my sixties, and I prefer cats to dogs. I shower at least three times a day and wash my hair with shampoo morning and night, so I’m practically odorless. I don’t think there’s much difference between 300,000 and 400,000 yen. I own an apartment that I bought to use as a private room for seeing women. Two small rooms are vacant, so up to two people could live there, but they’ve been empty for over a year now. When girls lived there, we had an arrangement of 50,000 yen per meeting and were intimate more than ten times a month. So that came to over 500,000 yen a month. I wonder if someone would live there again. There was even a time when two women lived there, one in each small room. But no women in their thirties, please. Somewhere between 18 and 22. If you’re trying to leave home because of abuse or other circumstances, please contact me. I’m in Nagoya. I could even drive to near your family home and help you move. I’ve done that twice—no, three times. No getting emotionally attached or stalking me. Until you grow into an adult and gain the ability to support yourself, I’ll take care of you in exchange for you helping me with my physical needs. Not a subordinate relationship—an equal one, or a guardian-like relationship. Win-win. The reason I don’t want women in their thirties isn’t so much that they’re older. It’s more that if a woman in her thirties got involved with a man over sixty like me, she might end up ruining her life, and I’d feel too responsible. I want to be a temporary resting place for a young woman in a difficult situation until she can stand on her own. Of course, it’s also more pleasant to touch younger skin, but I want to make clear that isn’t the only reason. Anyway, I’ve gotten off track. The questioner’s papa (a male supporter) is smelly, but he’s single, right? I’m technically single too, but if you can’t genuinely feel that you’d want to live together every day, see him every day if possible, or at least want to spend your life with him, then let him go. Just as I feel that a relationship between me and a woman in her thirties might not be good for her, show some consideration for that smelly papa. After all, he might eventually want to live with you. If you weren’t around, that smelly papa might meet another woman with a poor sense of smell and become happy with her. That’s just my opinion from my limited perspective, so take it for what it’s worth. Still, if you’re over thirty and doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) full-time, that’s pretty sad. Even if you have a regular day job, I think you should reconsider choosing men based solely on whether they smell, without thinking about the risk of being sued by a married man’s wife. If I were a woman, I’d definitely choose a smelly single man in his fifties over an odorless married man. Why don’t you take a bath together and wash him? Oh, and I forgot to mention: the questioner’s writing is actually pretty smelly too. You probably can’t tell yourself, but it has the distinctive musty odor of a woman who’s starting to age. I wish to be an old tree, a resting place for wandering birds. （I want to be an old tree where birds can rest.） As for the questioner, you should just fly off somewhere—anywhere—as soon as possible. If you’re going to say, “I’m a chicken, so I can’t fly,” then stop complaining, lay your eggs, or become meat. Cluck cluck 🐓

Here’s the response from today’s lunchtime contributor, age 27: “Having your rent paid and receiving an allowance, while still expecting him to accommodate your own preferences, feels a bit too selfish. If you don’t like it, I think you should either rent a place yourself or find someone else who agrees to those terms. As for the smell, I think it’s fine to mention it—as long as you don’t put it too bluntly. Not paying your own rent and still feeling that ¥300,000 isn’t enough isn’t a normal way of thinking. I think you should get back in touch with normal sensibilities. Receiving money isn’t something you can take for granted, and this will eventually come to an end. You should think about working and earning your own income.”

> Do you think he really believes ¥300,000 a month is enough? It depends on your lifestyle, but I think a frugal person could probably get by on that. > I’d prefer to limit it to one overnight stay a week, but I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be happy if I said that. I agree. There’s a good chance he agreed to the ¥300,000 monthly arrangement because he liked the idea that you could stay over for several nights. If you don’t like the situation, you could move out and rent a room of your own. That way, you’d probably be able to control how often you meet. However, he might take that as you wanting to end things. > Do you think it’s okay if I tell him he smells? lol I don’t usually associate women in their 30s with using “lol,” so I’m wondering if you might actually be a man—but normally, I don’t think you should say it outright. But doesn’t he shower when you stay over? I don’t really understand how he could still smell after showering, but if he used something like LUSH soap, I feel like the fragrance would be stronger than the odor.

Seeing someone I know really well registered there left me with mixed feelings. Monthly arrangements are difficult, aren’t they? I have several girls on monthly arrangements, but I generally don’t see them very often. That’s because I don’t want them to think, “I wonder how many times we’ve met this month…” like the person asking the question seems to be thinking. In other words, I only enter into a monthly arrangement with someone I’d be perfectly fine paying even if we didn’t meet a single time. Sorry this doesn’t really answer your question. I’ll be starting a new monthly arrangement with someone next month, so we’ll see how that goes.

I think it’s fine to tell him he smells, lol. That said, I doubt anything would really change even if you did. If he hasn’t noticed it himself and tried to change by that age, I can’t imagine one comment from you suddenly making a dramatic difference. You already knew he smelled really bad when you agreed to have him cover your rent and give you a ¥300,000 monthly allowance, right? Complaining about it now just feels like changing the terms after the fact. If you hate it that much, cut your losses and give up the apartment and allowance. If losing those would leave you in a bind, then you’ll have to keep putting up with the smell. The answer is really that simple. Hope this helps.

I’m currently looking into renting an apartment for the girl. I’d use it as both a workspace and a place to relax, so I’d have a spare key and might come and go whenever I wanted—even when she wasn’t there. Even if it started as papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), if you’re in a genuine relationship, that’s naturally how things can develop. If you only met on a monthly arrangement, it probably wouldn’t become like that, and you wouldn’t have a spare key either… If her papa (a male supporter) is single, it’s only natural that a close relationship might gradually become almost like living together. But if you’re only meeting regularly, you’d probably keep more distance—which would also make renting a place together unnecessary.

If I needed that ¥300,000, I don’t think I would say anything about the smell. If I really couldn’t stand it anymore, I would end things, but I still wouldn’t mention the smell until the very end. Letting someone know something that could benefit them in future relationships can be a kindness too, right? Considering how long I had already endured the smell harassment, I would choose not to say anything ☺️ 【P.S. Fuu】 I understand that it’s important to discuss the terms thoroughly from the beginning, but when the woman doesn’t really have many options, I think that can be difficult. I wasn’t in a position to be picky myself, so unless the terms were completely unreasonable, I would accept them and start seeing the person. If you’re in a situation where you need money and your choice is between zero and ¥300,000, I think it’s understandable to choose the ¥300,000. Sometimes, after continuing to see someone, you realize that you really can’t handle it after all. I feel it’s a little harsh to simply dismiss that as their own fault 😢

Since he’s paying your rent, he probably feels like it’s his own home. Take a lesson from the mistresses of the past and put up with this much. Unless you’re saving up a substantial amount of money, shouldn’t you be able to get by on that much in a rural area? If you find him smelly, as others have said, take a bath with him and wash him, or give him some good body wash. Instead of whining about it here, try being devoted to him. More importantly, do you have a proper job? You’re getting to the age where your shelf life is almost up, so if this activity is your only source of income, you’re headed for a miserable future.

You’re not having sex very often—he’s just coming over to stay the night, right? Even if he smells bad, it might be better to put up with it and not say anything.

There haven’t been many female respondents lately, so I sent the question to the woman I’m seeing tonight and asked her to answer it. She’s 26. ↓ If I wanted to maintain the relationship, I wouldn’t suddenly ask him to cut back to once a week. I’d gradually reduce the frequency instead. For example, three times this week, twice next week, then three times the week after that—how about slowly making more time for yourself that way? As for the reason, I think it’s better to phrase it without criticizing him, such as, “Lately, I want to make more time for studying and for myself,” or, “I get a little tired when my schedule is too packed, so I’d like to have some time to relax.” Regarding him showing up unexpectedly, you could try saying once, “I’m happy that you want to come see me, but I sometimes already have plans when it’s on the same day, so I’d really appreciate it if you could let me know in advance.” As for the smell, I don’t think you should directly tell him that he smells. If it were me, I’d give him a nice-smelling shampoo or body wash and say, “I really love this scent, and I wanted you to try it too.” Hopefully, it might encourage him to pay a little more attention to his personal hygiene. Even if he has rented a place for you or bought you an apartment, people have different preferences when it comes to how often they meet and how they spend their time together. Just because you receive an allowance doesn’t mean you have to adjust your entire life and schedule around him. To maintain a good relationship over the long term, I think it’s important to gradually establish a comfortable level of distance—one that doesn’t put too much strain on you.

As I’ve said here many times, you need to work out the terms from the very beginning. Once you agree to something, that becomes the default arrangement. It’ll probably be difficult to change things later. This isn’t something you should continue if it makes you miserable, so I think it’s perfectly fine to end things. That said, you already knew about the smell, him coming over three times a week, and showing up without notice, and you still agreed to those terms and continued seeing him. So, well, I do think you bear some responsibility too. If you’re prepared to break things off, why not tell him everything? “You smell, and I can’t take it anymore.” “The allowance isn’t enough.” “Don’t come over without warning.” It may be better for your peace of mind than ending things without saying anything. Please let us know how it goes. If the papa doesn’t want to break up, there’s still a possibility—however small—that he might change...

Perhaps they do it because they think it’s enough.