I’m a man in my 60s and a club member. I’ve met a woman in her 30s several times after being introduced through the club. The other day, after we finished dinner and were settling the bill at a restaurant we were visiting for the first time, a staff member asked me, “Are you father and daughter?” (The woman had gone to the restroom and wasn’t there at the time.) I’ve never been asked anything like that before, so it’s been on my mind. Normally, people might assume it was papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), or that I was accompanying her to a nightlife venue while she was in regular clothes...

I’ve never once been asked whether we were parent and child or a couple—not while eating at the counter, not when paying, and not even when we happened to be alone. If someone did ask, I’d probably immediately answer in the affirmative: “Amazing! No one’s ever figured it out before. How did you know? You’ve got a great eye! As expected!” There’d be no point getting annoyed at a server who said something like that—in fact, they’d be a rare find. Come to think of it, a girl who stayed over the other day told me that, on the way to the terminal station before we parted the following afternoon, her seminar professor saw us. Neither of us noticed. Apparently, during the seminar, the professor made some incredibly tactless, nonsensical comment in front of several people: “He’s young for an older man or your father, but who is he?” She said he was her part-time job manager, and that seemed to settle things. Now, time to grill some yakitori! Hope this helps.

I’ve never been asked that. I think the staff member was just being an idiot.

There are all kinds of people in this world, I guess. Sounds like the server just had no sense of the situation. Good thing the woman wasn’t there. Even if someone said that to me, I never pay the bill in front of the woman anyway, so it wouldn’t bother me much. I use the strategies of either “pretending to go to the restroom” or “taking care of it while she’s in the restroom.” No one’s ever mistaken us for parent and child, though. I have noticed servers looking at us like they suspect it might be papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), though… The other day, when I went to a Japanese restaurant with my wife and daughter, the owner apparently thought I’d brought two hostesses with me. When I was paying, he asked, “Which establishment do these two beautiful ladies work at?” LOL. I told my daughter, and she got really mad. When I told my wife, she seemed pretty pleased. Hahaha.

Since it was your first time at the restaurant, it seems unlikely that the staff member would ask, “Are you parent and child?” without already being familiar with you. Had you been chatting about various things or something? Without knowing what happened beforehand, it’s easy to assume the staff member was being strange. That said, it makes me wonder whether you had already been having some conversation. Perhaps they were simply curious about your relationship with the woman, but thought it might be awkward to ask, “Is she your girlfriend?” if that wasn’t the case. So they asked, “Are you parent and child?”—and if you answered that she was your girlfriend, they might have wanted to respond with something like, “Nice!”

I don’t think anyone has ever asked me anything about our relationship. If we looked like a parent and child, they’d probably say something like, “You two seem close,” rather than asking directly. If they really thought we were related—or a couple—they wouldn’t rudely ask, “Are you parent and child?”

The go-to way to ask when you don’t know a baby’s gender is, “How cute! Is she a girl?” So that idiot server should’ve just asked, “Is she your girlfriend?” What a klutz. I’m going to try to compete with Mac-san, but my ace often treats me. The other day, he reserved a stylish restaurant, smoothly paid the bill after dinner, and the server gave me a couple of double takes. It felt pretty good. We were sitting side by side, and while I was facing the counter straight ahead, my ace kept his body turned about 45 degrees toward me the whole time. When we go shopping for clothes, he has me wait outside the fitting room while he puts on a fashion show, and of course my ace handles the checkout as if it were the most natural thing in the world. From anyone’s perspective, it looks like I’m the one who should be paying, so the server always has this split-second “Huh?” reaction. That feels kind of good too. He really knows the art of making a man look good—no wonder he’s my ace. P.S. I see. So my ace is a “Showa-era woman.” I like that. She’d probably be pleased to hear it.

Maybe they thought you didn’t have enough financial power—or, well, enough drive and energy—to do papa-katsu? If it were me, I’d take that as an insult. You need to work on yourself until you’ve got enough confidence to fire back, “How rude. She’s my girlfriend!” The other day, I went to a southern island with a 21-year-old. She’d never been snorkeling, so I hired a local guide. Since there weren’t any other customers, I asked, “I’d like to help her take off her swimsuit and film her swimming naked. Would you be okay with that?” After getting his consent, I filmed her extensively with a GoPro. The guide was a young local man. While I was taking a shower afterward, he apparently started asking the 21-year-old about our relationship, saying things like, “Are you getting paid?” She found it amusing and teased him by saying, “Nope—we’re just traveling together. He’s paying for the trip and everything, but it’s completely private♡” He was probably shocked, and had his whole worldview about young people shattered. Good job. Papa-katsu is practically a badge of honor for a financially successful man, so you should hold your head high. Eventually, society will catch up. Ideally, you’d have enough natural appeal to date young women without money, but at the very least, grow old enough that people envy you and say, “You do papa-katsu? Nice.” Actually, you should be able to figure that out—or come to that realization—on your own. You’re old enough. Unrelated, but Sagami XLs fit unbelievably well. The L size was too tight, and two times out of three it would roll up during sex, which was a hassle to straighten out. Even while inside, it always felt constricting. But switching to XL made it genuinely comfortable. They’re thin, too, so they feel very natural. It’s like the difference between eating with your belt tightened versus loosened. Vaginas taste great. The problem is, I still have about 100 L sizes left in storage. It seems wasteful to throw them away, so I’m not sure what to do with them. To Make-Otoko: By Showa-era standards, it was normal for a mistress to hold onto her patron’s wallet and pay the bill, so that staff member may not have assumed she was the one keeping you. You see that kind of thing often at sushi counters. So if the server looked momentarily confused, it may not have been your imagination after all. Another old-school custom at traditional restaurants is that they’ll prepare a receipt without you even asking. I assume it’s a courtesy so that a customer dining with a woman doesn’t have to say, “Could I have a receipt?” If you don’t need it, you can just leave it behind. The other day, I was handed a receipt with no amount written on it. I hadn’t seen one of those in years. At places with that kind of consideration, I pay in cash too, and if the change is just a few thousand yen, I leave it on the tray and walk out. Those little exchanges are fun. And don’t go to a restaurant that asks, “Are you two father and daughter?” That’s unbelievably insensitive. You could at least respond sarcastically with, “What? Do I look that young? It’s rude to her, if not to me.”