After dinner, I sometimes struggle with how to respond when a woman says, “I'm on my period, so today…”
If the above is simply a polite refusal, then I enjoyed a delicious meal with a young, beautiful woman. That's all.
Until now, I assumed it meant, “No way,” sent a polite farewell message, and put the whole thing out of my mind. But then I started wondering: what if she really meant exactly what she said…?
It's surprisingly difficult to tell what she actually means.
For reference, it has happened three times in twenty meetings.
The question is whether I should invite her to meet again or not.
I'd appreciate some manly judgment from the male perspective, and insight into the complexities of a woman's feelings from the female perspective.
I'd be grateful for your advice.
Column writer Saito here♪
I’m not sure if this is considered normal, but…
In my case, she tells me when setting up an appointment, “That time is around my period,” so there’s no chance of our plans overlapping in the first place.
My guess is that she thinks you’ll still be kind and accommodating even when she’s on her period.
If you tell her when arranging the appointment, “Please let me know in advance if that’s the case,” will she cut you off?
Unless the man sets out some basic rules, things end up being governed by unspoken expectations.
Of course, if you don’t want any arguments over it, you can just leave things as they are.
There’s one woman who says she still wants to meet even when she’s on her period, but I turn her down.
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Here’s Maezawa, probably not reading the room.
If a woman tells you she’s on her period, it’s best to simply take her at her word. Whether she agrees when you invite her out next time will tell you soon enough.
I don’t think it’s worth worrying about beyond that.
Incidentally, during interviews, I tell women not to use “I’m on my period” as an excuse when turning down a man they feel they’re not compatible with.
So when they decline, they should be using some other reason.
> As for how often this happens, it’s happened three times in 20 dates.
Assuming a period lasts 5 days out of a 28-day cycle, the probability of being on one’s period on a date is 17.9%.
If it’s happened three times in 20 dates, that’s a 15% rate. Since that’s lower than 17.9%, statistically speaking, it’s quite likely that all of them were genuine.
Statistically, it seems likely that she’ll be on her period on the date after next.
(That would make it four times in 22 dates, bringing it closer to the calculated probability.)
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