Thank you all for your kind answers. I wanted to split the living expenses because I didn’t want to be in a one-down position with my boyfriend.

If you want to get back together, I think Flagmaker’s answer is right. You shouldn’t lower your allowance. You’ll just be treated carelessly. It sounds like your boyfriend may be taking you a little for granted. You’re still young, so why not try other ways of looking for a marriage partner too? If it’s only once a month even now, you’re almost certain to end up in a sexless marriage. Rather than sticking with a boyfriend who’ll never be able to satisfy you, keep a man who loves you as a backup before he gives up on you.

If you believe that paying creates a power imbalance, then I think you should treat your papa (a male supporter) accordingly. I have no way of knowing why your boyfriend lives with you, but if I had to guess, it’s probably just inertia. If he has no intention of finding another live-in partner, there’s no reason for him to kick out a woman who pays half the living expenses and lets him have his way once a month. As for getting back together with the papa who broke things off with you, you might have a chance if you cling to him, beg him not to leave you, and let him have a few freebies. Good luck.

> Are you living with him? Because it means you only have to cover half the living expenses. Even men can manage it once a month with someone they’re not particularly interested in. To put it bluntly, men can do it with pretty much anyone—as opposed to women, they can even do it without an allowance if they’re living with that person. > Is there any way to get back together with a papa who told me he wanted to break up? I don’t think so. I think the natural choices are either to break up with your boyfriend, or continue living with him and stop doing papa-katsu. Also, papa-katsu is, as the name suggests, meant to help you live more vibrantly and receive an allowance, so it’s not something you should force yourself to do if you don’t feel that way. And if you have average looks, I can understand why you prefer handsome men. I think the balance is probably more even than you realize. Good-looking men and women often don’t care as much about their partner’s appearance. On the other hand, people who aren’t particularly attractive are often more likely to seek good looks in a partner. Since the papas who provide an allowance are more often than not not particularly handsome, if you have average looks, you probably won’t find much satisfaction in that regard. And the papas may not be that interested in women who aren’t beautiful either.