I’m a PJ who started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to pay off loans for hair removal and a bust-enhancement treatment. I’ve now finished both treatments. Since I was living at home, I used my salary to make the loan payments, but I love my boyfriend, so we started living together with marriage in mind. Because we split all our living expenses equally, the loan payments became difficult to manage, and I entered a monthly arrangement with a papa (a male supporter) I met through a papa-katsu app.

He’s kind, and our adult relationship (intimate) compatibility is excellent, but it seems my living situation is a drawback for him, so the allowance I receive is less than I expected. I feel guilty toward my boyfriend, pressured by the loan payments, and anxious about my appearance. Perhaps because of all that, I initially quoted the papa a low allowance, and now I regret that I’m not receiving much. I feel completely confused. That said, the allowance from my regular papa has made the loan payments easier, and I’m not very motivated to look for a new papa when doing so could risk losing my current one. What can I change to break out of this situation? Sorry for the long post, but I’d really appreciate some advice.