My wife and I still value each other as partners and as a family, but we no longer have an adult relationship (intimate).
She was the first to seek that kind of relationship outside our marriage. We both have a vague sense of what’s going on, but we don’t pry too deeply.
I have business trips as my way out, while for my wife, I think it’s going out or traveling with friends.
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My behavior pattern hasn’t changed since we got married, so she doesn’t say anything. (I’m an idiot who’s always been a sucker for women.)
The key to not getting caught is not changing anything from how you were when you first got married. I think men get found out pretty easily when there are changes.
No matter what you say, though, they’ll probably figure it out.
On top of that, it’s best to genuinely have a job where it wouldn’t seem strange to be out working 24 hours a day. In my household, my wife says, “You’re doing it because you like it, so it’s not work—it’s a hobby,” and refuses to acknowledge it as a job… I’m treated coldly as if I’ve been unemployed the whole time…
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