Thank you, Mac.

By “hell,” I mean the sadness of falling for someone but being unable to make them happy. If I gave her money on a pay-per-meeting basis, I could at least feel certain that I’d made her happy to that extent. An allowance is a way of buying that kind of self-satisfaction. Also, the big difference between the person who asked the question and me is that what matters to me is whether I fall for someone. I’m not interested in what a woman really thinks of me—or rather, you can never know that for sure, so I don’t even try to find out from the start. The only thing I can know for certain is whether I like the woman in front of me. Once feelings of “liking her” arise inside me, that itself is a source of joy. I’ve never thought of it as empty, because it’s something I genuinely feel. I’m not the person who asked this question, but I completely agree with Mac’s answer. I’d been feeling conflicted about this for a while, but Mac helped me understand it. Thank you.