About having nerves of steel.

Hmm… If this is what you call having nerves of steel, then pretty much everyone online—or anyone who frequently posts on social media—would have nerves of steel. The same would go for novelists and other writers. I think true nerves of steel are something quite different.

I think it’s hard to develop an ironclad mindset if you’ve simply been a good girl and lived by following a path someone else laid out for you. For example, even among business owners, those who are essentially salaried executives tend to be pretty fragile under pressure. People who have faced difficulties, thought things through for themselves, and found their own solutions naturally develop an ironclad mindset, whether they wanted to or not. The same goes for women in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Someone who independently turns a papa (a male supporter) into a generous (well-paying) supporter, without asking anyone for advice, will probably develop an ironclad mindset too. On the other hand, someone who only asks others things like, “How can I land a generous (well-paying) supporter?” won’t develop one.

To earn a decent amount of money, you need good communication skills. Most truly wealthy people are very charismatic and good at building close relationships that make them well-liked by both men and women. The more allies you have, the better your chances of succeeding in business. Business throws plenty of obstacles and pressure your way, so it really strengthens your mental resilience. “Having nerves of steel” is a compliment. Thank you. In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I think the women who do well are the ones who know how to handle a man’s pride and emotions skillfully—making him feel liked and accepted, or genuinely respecting and liking their papa (a male supporter) as a person.

Thank you for the complicated question! First, you seem to be assuming that older men can’t be popular because of their personality, or that there can’t be a papa (a male supporter) whom a PJ genuinely accepts on a visceral level—but these things do happen. I’m not saying I’m one of them; I’ve heard female members talk about former papas like this before. I was impressed by one woman who flatly said, “It was a relationship involving money, but I really liked him.” Some of the women who answer questions here have said similar things, too, so I’m certain this does occur with a certain degree of regularity. As for the male answerers, I suppose it depends on the person. But when I became an answerer, having received no complaints from women was a requirement. So at least the senior answerers I know are, without a doubt, that kind of person. Now, as for having nerves of steel, sports psychology makes it extremely simple: when something unpleasant happens, you just let it go on your own terms. If your serve goes out, tell yourself, “These things happen.” If your opponent hits a great shot, think, “It can’t be helped—that’s exactly why I came here, to beat opponents like this.” If you find yourself in a situation that seems impossible to resolve, just “forget it,” and return—of your own accord—to the mindset you had at the start of the match. In short, all you have to do is conveniently create the mental state that allows you to perform at your best. Simply put, people with weak mental fortitude are people who worry too much about others. That can be a form of kindness, but kindness that hurts you is taking things too far. You seem to have a fragile mindset, so I hope this gives you something to think about. Also, people are born with things they pursue: some want money, some want status, and some want to satisfy a particular desire. This is especially easy to see with business owners and successful people, since many of them are driven by things like that. People who want to be praised can sometimes be annoying because they keep getting involved in everything, but if you praise them, they’re happy—and they praise the people around them too, which makes for a fun atmosphere. People who want to be number one are somewhat similar, but even when they praise others, they ultimately want to steer the conversation toward the conclusion that they themselves are the best. That makes the atmosphere slightly less pleasant. It can still be fun, but when you look around, you often find that most of the participants are dog-type people who get a thrill from following the pecking order（笑） Another aspect of having nerves of steel is staying away from troublesome people. You don’t need to beat them to prove anything, and those types tend to be stubborn, so things just turn into a pointless battle with no upside. I think the best approach is to keep a reasonable distance, then tease them from a safe place with a little cat-paw swipe and get a laugh out of it. Just to be clear, I’m not referring to any particular person. Sorry for the long response. I hope it helps. Taro

My theory has always been that men assume beautiful women are out of their league, so they don’t approach them. But if you take the plunge, they may actually be surprisingly receptive. You can see it clearly at singles’ matching parties. There was a time when I went to them almost every week. You’d think the most beautiful woman there would attract all the attention, but instead, the interest spread out nicely among the second-, third-, and fourth-most popular women. Even the regular guys reliably paired up with someone they had a good chance with. They simply gave up on the women who seemed out of reach. I was able to pair up with the most popular woman more than half the time. When she didn’t pair up with anyone, she would turn down the men who invited her out one after another after the party. But when I approached her, she would feel at ease, and I was almost always able to go out with her and her friend. In that setting, it helped that I didn’t look particularly handsome or like a womanizer, but instead came across as serious, decent, and trustworthy. The women always interpreted everything in the best possible way. Of course, it also helped that I took the plunge and approached them properly—by inviting them to go out for a meal afterward. Through meeting these women, I’ve been fortunate enough to have not only dating and romantic relationships, but also deep relationships that led to engagements and marriages with more women than I can count on one hand. Those experiences allowed me to further develop both my understanding of women and my own theories. Women tend to interpret things favorably, so even with the women whose engagements were called off or who later divorced, I believe I’ll continue to have a good relationship with them as women for the rest of our lives. It was simply that living together as unrelated people through marriage didn’t work out. My love of parties eventually led me to organize singles’ matching parties, and my love of women eventually led me to work at a men’s relaxation salon. That gave me the opportunity to learn about therapists and the hidden sides of women as well, and my current steel-trap mentality has reached an unshakable level. So what does all this look like? Would it be something like this in a club? Am I basically the perfect example of the kind of person who makes people think, “A club papa would probably be about this level anyway”? I’m not handsome, but I’m not creepy either. I give off the impression of being serious, mild-mannered, and kind—the sort of person who would absolutely never do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)! And when I talk, that impression only gets stronger. Maybe that’s why, whether or not a club was involved, no one has ever told me not to walk around town with a woman around twenty. I’ve freely gone everywhere with them, from downtown areas to malls, movies, karaoke, theme parks, and all sorts of other places. Recently, I went out with my daughter and was reminded once again how much it benefits me to look like someone who would absolutely never do papa-katsu. Even as I get older, it seems like this could continue to work. For now, sometimes I’m “Dad,” sometimes a relative’s uncle, and sometimes a company boss or president. When I get older, “Dad” will simply become “Grandpa,” and I’ll probably be able to get away with anything. I sometimes visit or meet women I know at their businesses too, and between that and my daughter calling me “Papa” and being so physically close to me, I feel like I’ve finally unraveled the reason a little. And then, at clubs, men approach beautiful women whom most other men have given up on and avoided because they assume they have no chance. They approach them without realizing that beautiful women aren’t swayed by anything and can see through any act. I wonder if simply knowing that makes a difference. I can’t see through it myself, either. P.S. Recently, my wife has been repeatedly bellowing “Enough already! Enough! Enough! Gaaah!” like a cow at the mess the family leaves around. Then she told me, “I’m doing all the childcare by myself. If you go get a massage, you’ll be sentenced to death.” I couldn’t help feeling relieved inside: “Yes! She has absolutely no idea I’ve been going on dates!” Apparently, I don’t show anything on my face, either…

You can acquire it as you work your way up in business. I’m not a one-hit wonder—I’m a two-hit wonder. But both my first and second successes came after fighting tooth and nail and stepping over countless bodies to get there, so of course it made me mentally tough. That said, I’m a coward, so I’d never say anything like that, and I prepare to an almost pathological degree whenever I meet a woman. However, being too cowardly like me makes papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) no fun. I don’t believe women at all when they say things like “I like you” or “You’re wonderful,” and perhaps because of that, I’ve never fallen genuinely in love. I’m a lonely man. I wish someone would make me fall genuinely in love. If there’s any confident woman out there thinking, “I’m sure I could make you—a loser like you—fall genuinely in love with me,” please submit a question to the anonymous inbox disguised as an ordinary question. I’ll search for you, find the woman who asked it, and make you an offer. The only things I’m absolutely confident about are my car and how clean my place is. I think you’d probably even forgive my body odor and bad breath, but when it comes to everything else—including my looks—I’d probably lose across the board... My place is so clean that women come over and stay the night of their own accord. When that happens, though, I move to a different house and don’t sleep with them.