Hello. I’m a female member who only joined a few months ago.
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Thankfully, I’ve received my fourth offer, but there were requests like these:
【What he wants from the woman on the date】
・Please eat beforehand. Let’s take our time talking over tea.
・I’ll pick you up by car—is that okay?
I’m a Type B member, but I feel nothing but uneasy about being picked up by car without having dinner first.
Of course, I’m planning to decline the ride.
I thought the first meeting normally included a meal.
Does this mean he’s trying to keep costs down?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
It’s one of the standard messages used when making an offer—the man can select it by clicking a radio button.
It could also be from a papa who came over from an app and is looking to keep things cheap.
If it makes you suspicious, decline the offer.
There are also a small number of women who don’t eat much or prefer meeting at a café the first time, so I imagine this template is meant for women like that.
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If he’s the kind of man who makes you question so many things, I think there’s a good chance he isn’t especially gentlemanly, so I’d be perfectly fine with rejecting the offer. I would never make an offer like that myself.
For now, I think it would be best to tell him that, since it’s your first meeting, you’d prefer not to be picked up by car, and then confirm where you’ll be having tea.
Not everyone is like this, but some people may try to go straight to a hotel after meeting at a hotel lounge, so please be careful.
The club may have told you to set aside four hours, but if you can actually talk for four hours over tea at your first meeting, you must be exceptionally compatible. That would be great in its own way, but I doubt it happens very often.
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I don’t think either of you will benefit from meeting when there’s already a lack of trust.
That said, there are many things you can’t know until you actually meet.
But if you feel that the man is trying to keep things cheap, it’s best to turn down the date.
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Does being picked up by car mean he simply wants to avoid traveling in this heat, or is he planning to go straight to a hotel? It’s easy to start overthinking it.
I had a similar experience with my first offer. He came to pick me up by car, and I remember feeling a little uneasy. He told me to come all the way to Shiga Prefecture because he wanted to see me again. That’s about 100 kilometers, I think… I wish I’d known about this Q&A forum back then.
And then he dropped me off in Shiga, too… It was really frightening. I should have reported it to the staff.
Anyway, even if he’s picking you up by car, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll go straight to a hotel. You might go for a little drive, then have dinner somewhere with a nice view.
If you’re worried, tell the staff, “The person is picking me up by car. We’re going to have dinner first, right? I’m feeling anxious.” They’ll be happy to advise you.
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Haha, I know exactly what you mean（笑）
As the man said:
> Let’s have tea and take our time getting to know each other.
You can simply take it at face value（笑）
The important thing is to talk things over and carefully figure out whether it seems like a relationship could develop—or whether it would be better to politely decline.
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