This person isn’t someone I met through Universe, but after meeting someone for the first time and parting ways, if they don’t message you afterward with something like, “Thank you for today,” or “I had a great time today,” does that mean they weren’t interested in you?
If you like someone, you’d normally send them some kind of message after parting ways, right?
I’m the type who doesn’t message someone afterward if I’m thinking, “Eh, not really…” But if I think, “They seem nice. I’d like to see them again,” I’ll message them myself.
Also, are there people who like someone but deliberately don’t message first, choosing to see what the other person does?
I’d like to know what everyone else thinks.
I’m Uehara from the staff.
I consider sending a thank-you message to be common courtesy, but some people simply aren’t in the habit of reaching out first. Personally, I don’t think it necessarily means they weren’t interested.
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Usually, the woman is the one who sends a thank-you LINE.
When they don’t, I feel there are three possible reasons: she simply wasn’t interested, she’s treating this as work (in a sex-work sort of way) and prioritizes keeping things casual and non-exclusive, or she’s naturally passive—or just not the type to actively show interest.
From the man’s perspective, when no thank-you LINE comes, we tend to assume it’s one of the first two. But sometimes, when I message her anyway because I’d still like to see her, she replies sounding genuinely delighted, and I realize she was actually the third type.
Incidentally, from the man’s side, even if we have no intention of meeting again, we’ll still reply to a thank-you LINE. If her behavior that day made us think, “Is this really okay?” then we just leave it unanswered. I do that hoping the message will get across, but those are often the very women who then send several more sales-pitch LINEs afterward—probably the same message sent to multiple people. In those moments, I think, “Water off a duck’s back” really is the perfect saying.
Taro
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Like the other respondents mentioned, all of my supporters have contacted me first so far, so I’ve never reached out to them myself.
In my professional life, I’m often treated to meals by senior business owners who give me work, but I always message them afterward to thank them. It’s not about whether I like them or not—it’s simply a matter of courtesy.
So, although this is just speculation, if the other person didn’t contact me, I probably wouldn’t reach out either.
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I usually reach out first. Women are often treated to meals, right? So I naturally end up sending a thank-you message, regardless of whether I’m interested in the person. That’s just how I am.
Since you don’t know what kind of person he is yet, I think it’s perfectly fine for you to contact him first. Don’t overthink it—just send him a message. If you don’t, you won’t be able to see how he responds.
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I’ve never contacted a woman I met through a dating club on the same day.
As for anyone I met outside of dating clubs, that was several decades ago. I didn’t even have a cell phone back then, and since it was already past 9 p.m., I don’t think I contacted her. This brought back some old memories（笑）
Whether it’s through a dating club or back then, I’ve always gotten in touch a few days later（笑）
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> I’m the type who doesn’t contact someone after we part ways if I’m not really interested. But if I think, “I like him. I’d like to see him again,” I’ll reach out myself.
A lot of men assume women generally do the same. So if they don’t hear from her, some men give up, thinking she wasn’t interested.
However, it seems some women also take no action, thinking, “If he liked me, he’ll contact me.”
If both people feel that way, things simply fade out naturally.
I’m sorry to say this from a man’s perspective, but I think women should always contact the man after an arranged date.
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Regardless of whether you liked them or not, I can’t understand not making time that day to have a meal—or let them treat you—and, in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), not thanking them after receiving an allowance.
For the record, whether the other person is my boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, or even a friend, I always make sure to send a thank-you message.
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After a first date, the woman will almost always send a message to say thank you.
Unless something particularly awful happened, I think it’s only natural to show appreciation for receiving an allowance, whether or not she actually liked the date.
The man will usually reply in kind.
If she doesn’t contact me at all after the first date, I might feel that she’s rather discourteous.
As for invitations after the second date and onward, I’m the same as the person asking the question: if I’m not that interested, I won’t reach out. But if I’d like to see her again, I’ll contact her myself.
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After the first meeting, the woman usually messages me, so I don’t message her first.
I reply to her messages whether I really like her or feel only lukewarm about her. I don’t think I’ve ever been the one to message first after a first date.
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