I’m a woman in my 20s and a member based in the Tokyo metropolitan area.
This content is machine-translated.
I met my papa through Universe,
and we’ve been seeing each other for about two years now,
but lately I feel like things have become routine.
He’s my most generous (well-paying) papa,
and he’s also a wonderful person,
so I’d like to continue seeing him.
I’d love to hear how I can break out of this rut!
If you have any experiences or tips
for preventing things from becoming stale,
I’d really appreciate your advice!
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Feeling stuck in a rut after just two years seems a little soon to me.
Putting it in very abstract terms, I think that as long as you keep growing and updating yourself as a person, your papa will continue to see you as someone truly one of a kind. If you can work on yourself without being self-centered, while staying earnest and genuine, things won’t become stale. Your papa will also keep finding new ways to treat you and make things enjoyable.
But the same applies to the papa. If he’s exactly the same as when you first met, with no ambition to improve and simply going through life on autopilot, I won’t find him attractive no matter how wealthy he is, and I’ll want to end the relationship. I’d find myself thinking, “I’m not having fun being with this person.” I think this may be another reason relationships can become stale, apart from basic compatibility as people.
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Some people never fall into a rut, so I’m not sure what makes the difference. But once I do, I’ve never managed to turn things around, so I don’t know how to get out of it.
I feel like I’m less likely to get bored since I started seeing multiple people, but I might not have gotten bored even without that, so it’s hard to say.
I’d also like to know if there’s anything I should be careful about.
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How about baby play, an older-sister/younger-sister role-play, or a queen-and-slave dynamic?
I’m only about 5% serious—honestly, you should just tell them what you’d like to try.
It’s pretty embarrassing for a man to bring it up himself, so… goo goo ga ga.
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Hmm… maybe my monthly arrangement partner?
No, that can’t be it—he’s not my most generous papa.
I understand that feeling of getting bored after about two years. They say romantic relationships have a shelf life of around three years, though there’s not much evidence behind that—and this isn’t romance, anyway.
Still, if you view papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as a relationship between two people, it makes sense that the excitement gradually fades for both sides.
Without some kind of trigger or change, it doesn’t seem like you can stop yourself from getting bored.
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People tend to fall into two categories: those who grow bored with routine and those who don’t. You probably can’t change which type you are.
Basically, it comes down to whether you’re the kind of person who starts feeling that way, or the kind who doesn’t—instead, their affection, attachment, tenderness, and gratitude continue to grow.
Some people feel bored after just two years, while others never feel that way, even after 20 or 30 years.
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