I was shocked by what the 65-year-old man I met for a first meeting said today.

It was probably just that your terms didn’t match. No need to make such a big deal out of it… You did get your allowance (transportation costs), didn’t you? So what’s the problem? I make offers to Type A and Type B women too, but when someone asks for “one” for dinner, I honestly think, “Are you kidding me?” I respect wanting to avoid intimacy after meeting a man for the first time and spending just two hours together—you want to get to know him properly and decide whether he’s right for you. But in return, the guy is paying for dinner plus one. Men are putting up with that. If a woman fully understands that and has honestly faced her own resolve regarding it, then I have no problem with her taking that extra step. But when you start wondering, “Is she an idiot who thinks, ‘Having dinner with me is worth one’?” then, as a man, you’re put in a situation where your ability to let it slide is tested（笑） Do you really need to think that hard about why men register with a dating club? It’s just as obvious as women being in it for the money. Even in the sex industry, there are men who pay for a conversation at a delivery-service escort agency without receiving oral sex. You do hear stories like that. But those men aren’t the norm. If you ever come across one, you’d have to get as excited as if you’d just seen a UFO for it to be worth your while. Taro

The moment he calls it a dating app, he’s already ruled himself out. At 65, unless he already has a young girlfriend, he has no chance.

Fortunately, I haven’t encountered a guy who was that delusional yet. You must have been incredibly patient. I think that was probably a rare case, so you should be fine going forward.

Every now and then, even outside this world, you get self-proclaimed handsome older guys saying, “I’ll pay for the meal, so set me up with a young woman.” Honestly, I’d have to be treated to something really extravagant—and even then, I’d probably pass—so I just let them down gently. It makes me think they should go to a club or some other venue, and stop making requests as if they were young people arranging a group date. Since they’re in a dating club, I think people with the kind of attitude described above are simply misunderstanding what it’s about. At the same time, that’s their personal value system, so I suppose it’s fine to accept the transportation fee and say goodbye. Personally, I do have women in their twenties I can have dinner with, but there’s absolutely no ulterior motive. That’s the difference between those relationships and a dating club arrangement, and I see the allowance as making up for that significant difference.

They do show up from time to time. I’ve run into one myself. Maybe it was the same person, haha. Marika

I’m in my 60s too, and I honestly think that “handsome older gentleman” really believes what he’s saying. Why is he using a dating club in the first place? What are the rules for dating through a club? I’m sure he understands those things on some level, but when a woman is actually standing in front of him, he gets cocky—just like he would with a woman he’s dating（笑） He’d understand if he calmly looked in the mirror, but he’s too excited to think straight. I know the feeling（笑） When you come across a handsome older gentleman like that, just keep a cool head, respond kindly but firmly, and accept only the transportation money. It may take a little time, but eventually he’ll come to understand reality… It’s pretty much the same as my post-bath underwear incident（笑） P.S. > I almost said, “You’re seriously mistaken. You’re not that popular, you know. There are plenty of men who are more handsome and gentlemanly than you,” but I decided not to. You’re amazing! I’m sure you really wanted to say it, but you showed great restraint!

There’s nothing wrong with always feeling young at heart. That said, thinking that someone in their 60s can date someone in their 20s without any financial support may be taking it a bit too far…

The part that says, “Surely there aren’t many people who misunderstand things like this, right?” isn’t really a question—it’s just asking for agreement—so I thought it might be hidden. If you mean it as a question, wording it as: “Are there other people who misunderstand things like this?” would make it less likely to be hidden. As for the main question: Maybe he’s saying that he doesn’t want to pay the ¥5,000–¥10,000 transportation allowance for the meal upfront. For women with dating types C–D, there’s a good chance things will become an adult relationship (intimate) that same day and continue to a hotel. So perhaps he considers everything up to that point one continuous date and wants to give the allowance just once at the hotel. However, what you give after the meal isn’t an allowance. It’s the transportation fee paid as compensation for the meal, and it’s part of the club rules, so it’s separate from the allowance. It’s technically just compensation called a transportation fee, but perhaps he’s confusing it with the allowance. From the second date onward, you normally don’t give anything at the meal and then again at the hotel. Maybe he’s misunderstanding this and thinks that even on later dates, he has to give an allowance at the meal and then pay again at the hotel. Well, if he’s misunderstanding things and paying twice, the woman might consider him a nice person. But telling her about it is definitely a negative point. As for: “Surely there aren’t many people who misunderstand things like this, right?” I feel the point of the misunderstanding may be different, but everyone is different. As long as it doesn’t go against the club rules or the purpose of a dating club, I suppose it simply comes down to each person’s individual approach and a consensual adult relationship. However, if he genuinely wants to date without giving any money, that goes against the purpose of a dating club, so I’d prefer him to leave the club.