I’m having a hard time making plans for a second meeting. It seems they don’t know their schedule until the last minute, so they sometimes suddenly message me things like, “Are you free tonight?”
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I also need time to prepare, such as deciding what to wear, and I have my own plans, so honestly, I wish they would let me know earlier... But I haven’t told them that.
I’d like to continue seeing this person for a long time.
Has anyone else been in an arrangement like this?
I’m worried that if our schedules keep not lining up, we’ll gradually drift apart.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I think it’s important for both of you to take your time and keep communicating.
Unfortunately, it’s quite common for things to end simply because your schedules don’t line up.
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From a man’s perspective, a woman who will come see him even when he calls her at short notice is a good woman.
She may be his second choice, but even so, I think it’s possible to maintain a long-term relationship.
I understand that it can be difficult, but if you keep saying, “I’m always available,” and meeting him, you may find that the relationship continues for years and that, before you know it, you’ve become very close.
If he’s someone you’d like to stay with for a long time, I think it’s best to continue as you are now.
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I suppose some people genuinely don’t know until the day of because of work and other commitments.
It’s inconvenient for women, but if you assume that’s how things will always be, you can prepare accordingly.
Keep a dress that fits in your work bag, along with spare underwear and accessories, and wear shoes suitable for a date. If you think of it as being lucky to get invited on a day when you’re free, you probably won’t feel so frustrated.
That said, if you keep turning them down, they’ll likely find it harder to invite you and may eventually stop altogether.
Marika
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I’m seeing a woman who, on the contrary, is the one who asks whether I’m free that day.
At first, I remember checking things like, “Is it okay if I’m wearing sweats today?” or “I haven’t made a reservation, is that okay?” She said neither was a problem, so now we meet whenever our schedules line up. Apparently, someone who’s willing to meet on short notice is hard to come by, so I think you’ll be treated as fairly important.
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It’s difficult when you’re told so suddenly… It would really help if you could let me know at least a week in advance!
Alternatively, I think the safest option is to schedule the next meeting on the day you meet.
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