I’ve met a woman who is exactly my type in terms of her looks, figure, and personality. I really want to keep her interested without making her dislike me. I’ve already switched her allowance to a monthly arrangement. So, aside from increasing the allowance, what should I keep in mind?

Just treat her well and maintain a genuine relationship. In time, the others around her will drop away, so you’ll be fine（笑).

Choose to keep your distance. Leave yourself some emotional and physical reserves.

Just like in romance, I think a key factor in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is which person becomes more emotionally invested. If you’re the one who’s fallen for him, the only way to keep him around is with an allowance. After all, you don’t have any other leverage…

Have you asked whether she prefers a monthly arrangement? Some women would rather have a stable pay-per-meeting arrangement than a monthly arrangement with someone who keeps insisting on meeting. If you agree to meet twice a month on fixed days, plus one additional meeting whenever possible, that’s also a bonus for her in terms of her allowance. Beyond that, observe her carefully: don’t do things she dislikes, figure out how much distance she prefers, and avoid interfering more than you might imagine she wants. And to lessen the impact whenever things eventually end, date multiple people and spread out your feelings so you don’t get too attached or do anything uncool, like becoming jealous. That’s about all I can think of.

In short, since this is long: The best date is “not meeting at all.” Body: The key to a successful monthly arrangement is whether you can give her an allowance equivalent to an adult relationship without actually meeting her. *The next-best dates are dinner dates and the like. Adult dates are, of course, at the very bottom.* I offered a monthly arrangement to my favorite girl—my ace—the very day we first met. We hit it off right away, and when we parted, she gave off this “I want you to keep me all to yourself” vibe, so I made the arrangement exclusive. We’ve been getting along perfectly ever since, so I’m sure things will work out for you too. My recent problem is that she’s reluctant to accept extra allowance. She used to take it right away, but now she says, “I want us to stay together for a long time, so I don’t need it. I really can’t accept it.” It’s confusing, because giving it to her makes me happy… 1. Keep the number of meetings to an absolute minimum. 2. Have non-intimate dates at least twice as often as adult dates. 3. Keep everyday communication to the bare minimum—I basically never contact her first. 4. Work incredibly hard. That’s all four. In short, the deciding factor is whether you have the courage and determination to play the role of the papa who is most convenient for her. Don’t chase after girls. That’s why number 4 is extremely important. Working hard makes them develop feelings for you. I always tell her, “Work comes first, and you’re second, XX-chan.” Saying “You’re number one” will only make her pull away, so work extremely hard. Make money. Building trust leads to credibility. And trust means those four things above. It took me a while, but my ace trusts me now. I’ve had to endure an extraordinary amount of frustration and hold back like crazy to get this far, haha. But if you keep doing that, it becomes normal, your body adjusts to it, and the stress goes away. Keep holding back and prove yourself as a man until she thinks: “I’ll never meet another papa like him.” “There’s absolutely no papa better than him.” Update: 5. Never step outside the papa role. Adding that to the list.

I’m not saying I want to meet ten times a month. I’ll treat her as my girlfriend and genuinely care about her. That doesn’t mean bombarding her with LINE messages every morning or anything like that.

With my current papa (a male supporter), he suggested a monthly arrangement at our second meeting, and we’ve been continuing it for three or four years now. We’re still totally in love and even message each other morning, noon, and night. I never get tired of him—I even joke that I’d want to marry him someday. I think it’s lasted this long because he isn’t the type to interfere much, and we have incredibly good physical chemistry. If he were controlling or possessive, things would have become difficult for both of us, and we probably wouldn’t have made it this far. Of course, I also respect him as a person. That’s something I gradually came to realize as we spent more time together; at first, he was a complete mystery to me. So I don’t think starting with a monthly arrangement necessarily means it will fail. Whether it continues really depends on the compatibility between you and the woman.

Sometimes I hear women say, “There are men who bring up a monthly arrangement right from the start. They’re so pushy—it’s creepy.” This kind of one-sided assumption or snap judgment can easily backfire. So the key is to engage with the other person, pay attention to their reactions, and avoid getting carried away.