I’m the one who previously asked about “seven times in three hours.” Thank you for your advice at the time.
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Since then, I’ve received offers from other people as well, and the other day I was able to arrange a date with one of them, so we met.
He was gentlemanly and kind, and complimented me by saying I was much more beautiful in person than in my photos (I’m not getting carried away). We’ve decided to continue seeing each other on an ongoing basis.
As for the adult relationship (intimate), whether he knew how I felt or not, he said, “I’m satisfied as long as I can climax once.” That put me at ease. We had a wonderful time.
I’m looking forward to seeing him again next time.
Like Ayase-san, I’d also like to think about the appeal that comes with being in my 40s.
As Maezawa-san said, rather than working hard so I won’t be abandoned, I want to work hard to make him captivated by me.
I’m keeping notes in a private journal about our conversations that day, his family structure, and the clothes and underwear I wore, so that I can continue seeing him without asking the same questions again.
I’d also like to know what direction the other respondents’ efforts have taken. I’m currently trying to gauge his pace when it comes to messaging.
Sorry for the long preamble.
This is about the allowance.
I’d like to use a small portion of the allowance I receive to buy something that will make him happy.
In that case, would saying something like, “Today, I went to the hair salon. Thank you,” come across as too much?
Also, would he find it bothersome if I told him about things I bought, such as underwear?
Since this is a relationship between two people, I want to express my gratitude, but I’d appreciate it if you could point out whether I’m going about it the wrong way.
I’m sure you’re busy, but I would sincerely appreciate your advice.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂40s👑Universe female member
I’m not particularly interested in hearing how the money is spent.
The other day, a woman I’m seeing said, “Thank you for the allowance,” but even that felt unnecessary to me.
I see the allowance not as wages, but as a way of keeping a clear boundary between us.
That’s why I give every woman the same 50,000 yen per pay-per-meeting arrangement. It also means, “Please don’t fall for me and come to expect a romantic relationship.”
I don’t like designer brands myself, but I have no problem if she uses the allowance to buy them.
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The unique charm of being in your 40s♡ Thank you for the lovely compliment♡
It’s probably best not to tell him what you’re spending the money on.
If he asks, you could say something like, “I feel bad spending it, so I’m keeping it hidden behind a secret door,” or “I wanted to look my best the next time we meet, so I went to the salon.” Those would work too.
Rather than giving him updates like that, you could also say, “The weather was so nice today, so I went for a walk,” or “I’ve started walking.”
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The three-hour, eight-meeting arrangement, right?! I remember!
You’re free to use your allowance however you like, so I think you should spend it on whatever makes you happy.
When I first meet someone and they ask why I started doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I say, “For the life experience”—which is the honest truth. So money isn’t my top priority. If they then ask what I use it for, I say, “I’ve never really been interested in anything or spent money on myself before, so I’d like to use it for things like beauty and self-care.” Of course, I use it for other things too…
For the men who make me an offer—or, in my case, arrange a meeting—I feel that keeping myself looking nice is simply a given, and not something to make a big deal about. I can’t imagine being given such an opportunity and not making an effort to look my best.
So I think taking care of your appearance is itself a way of showing gratitude, as well as basic etiquette.
P.S.
I gave this a lot of thought and asked myself, “What if I told my partner about it?”
If it’s someone who had said, “Why don’t you use it for this?” then saying, “I’m going to go there next time!” or “I’m going to buy one!” would probably be fine.
But if we hadn’t talked about it at all and I suddenly brought it up, wouldn’t it seem a little forced?
So I suppose it really depends on the person.
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Men and women think in fundamentally different ways, which is why they’re drawn to each other.
Women generally aren’t interested in the things men care about, so they don’t remember them.
Likewise, women’s interests often don’t interest men and don’t even stick in their memory.
So it’s perfectly fine to feel that you don’t need to talk about the things you’re interested in or consider important.
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Wasn’t it eight times in three hours?
Putting that aside, I don’t think you need to report going to the salon. First, it might make him think you couldn’t even afford to go without an allowance. Also, beauty is basically a matter of personal satisfaction.
And even if you do go to the salon, I don’t think you should make any drastic changes. If you go against his preferences, you may disappoint him.
As for the lingerie, I think it would be fine if you wore it for him next time. You might be able to find out more about his preferences that way—and if he wants to have a say, he might even buy the lingerie separately from your allowance.
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