How long do you think a date should last?

“If two hours for dinner and two hours at a hotel, with around five hours at most, would be ideal,” then the four and a half hours of: “He suggested going to the hotel, ordering room service, and taking our time, but when I asked, I found out we’d meet at 5:30 p.m. and have to leave by 10 p.m.” seems to fall within that ideal range. Are you saying that it’s not about the total time, but that you don’t want to spend more than about two hours in the hotel room? Of course, if the conversation doesn’t really flow, being in the room for a long time could be uncomfortable. So rather than simply focusing on how long you spend in the room, I think it’s better to consider whether you’ll be able to have an enjoyable conversation. Men give an allowance because they like the woman, so it’s natural for them to want to spend a long time together. I think it’s best to accept that this is how men are and then think about how to handle it within those expectations. In this case, if you felt that the conversation probably wouldn’t flow well, you could steer the conversation toward something like: “Maybe we could just have dinner this time and go to the room after we’ve gotten to know each other better?” If your dissatisfaction wasn’t actually about the amount of time in the room, then I think you should focus on finding a way to address the specific issue that bothered you.

For someone who tells his family that he’s going out for drinks after work and then heading home, that may simply be the only time he has available, don’t you think? Depending on their position, some people may not be able to eat out or spend time in public with a woman, so I think that’s something worth understanding. Even so, if you still dislike it, it may be because you don’t really like that man very much. If he were your type and offered an allowance of 50,000 yen or more, wouldn’t you say, “Sure!”? Also, the way you said, “The allowance is 50,000 yen per meeting,” made me wonder whether that’s what you’re unhappy about. If the issue is only the time, you could try telling him, “I’d prefer about five hours.”

I don’t think it’s stingy at all. Unless it’s our first date, I’m perfectly fine with dates that take place entirely inside a hotel. I’ve ordered room service before, brought in takeout, and even ordered Uber Eats a few times. The women I meet are all concerned about being recognized because of their jobs, so none of them have ever objected to it—in fact, it’s probably preferable. By the way, I don’t really understand the logic that says five hours is the limit because of the quasi-state-of-emergency measures. I seem to remember that a “close contact” was defined as being within one meter of someone for at least 15 minutes without taking infection-control measures…

Since he booked a hotel and ordered room service, I don’t think he’s being cheap. It just seems like his intentions are very clear. Even with the same five hours, some people spend three or four hours eating and going on a date, then spend about an hour at the hotel at the end of an enjoyable date. For some couples, that leads to a more exciting and satisfying intimate experience. Everyone is different. If it’s blatantly a hotel from start to finish, it inevitably feels a bit like an escort service. If the woman isn’t looking for that, it may not lead to a good intimate experience and could end up wasting everyone’s time. So if that’s not what you want, I think it would be difficult to build a good relationship with him. I think the comfort level at the start of intimacy is determined by the whole flow of the experience—the meal, conversation, atmosphere, sense of healing, and how relaxed you feel. If your compatibility is different from his in that regard, I don’t think you’ll be able to bridge that gap. Making a good first impression is crucial, yet if he shows no consideration for spending time in a way that the woman can actually enjoy, I’d say he’s not even worth meeting in the first place…

I think the ideal length of a date varies from person to person, but I usually keep it to around four hours. I didn’t think that man was being cheap, but shouldn’t what matters be how you feel about him? What someone else thinks based solely on the time and allowance tells you nothing useful. Some women welcome room service because it’s more relaxed. Personally, I’m not a big fan of room service since the food usually isn’t that good. It sounds like you’re not particularly interested in this man, so I think it would be better to end things with him.