They smirk and say, pretending to joke—perhaps intending to upset me—“Your wrinkles are going to get deeper, your gray hair will increase, and your boobs will start to sag soon.”
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They started saying things like that more often after I turned 30, so maybe they became dissatisfied with me.
That person doesn’t give me any money for beauty treatments or anything, and his allowance is below average.
He laughs and says, “You’d better watch out,” but it really hurts and makes me sad.
Because he says things like that, I end up spending almost all of my allowance on cosmetic clinics, hair salons, and esthetic treatments.
I think the reason everyone else is able to save money is because they’re beautiful. I’m jealous.
I wish I had a stronger heart so I wouldn’t let comments like that bother me.
Men, what are you feeling when you say things like that?
Are you thinking, “I’ll cut you off once you’re no longer beautiful”?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂30s👑Universe female member
I’m guessing that papa has very little experience with private romantic relationships.
I sometimes tell this story to women I’m seeing as a funny anecdote, but when I invited the first woman I ever dated to my place at Christmas, I hugged her and blurted out, “You don’t have much of a chest.”
She got angry and said, “I do have a B cup!” Needless to say, we didn’t get intimate, and things ended right there.
Looking back, I realize what an idiot I was, lol.
If you keep putting up with that papa, he may get the wrong idea and assume that it’s okay to say things like that.
Breaking up with him might be a form of kindness, in its own way.
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There are plenty of people in their 30s who like that, and I’m sure there are men in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and even 70s who find it attractive too!
If someone said that to me, I’d either burst into tears—I’m often told I don’t take jokes well—or just let it go in one ear and out the other. (>_<)
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That papa (a male supporter) has absolutely no sense of boundaries. He sounds like the type of old guy who enjoys teasing people and gets a kick out of seeing you uncomfortable. He’s seriously gross, so you should end things. Staying involved with him will only have a negative impact on you.
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I can’t really understand how you feel because I’d never say something so rude. Use that person’s allowance to make yourself even more beautiful, and find someone better.
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It’s ridiculous to take anything a man like that says seriously.
You’re only 30—you’re going to become more and more beautiful and alluring from here on out.
Besides, once you get to around my age or Nana’s (sorry for mentioning you by name, lol), people stop saying things like that because they’re being too serious. So enjoy it while they’re still saying it.
Marika
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> I wish I were strong enough not to let comments like that bother me.
Before that, though, I think you should end things with him and date someone who wouldn’t say things like that. Pushing yourself isn’t good for you.
> What do you think men feel when they make comments like that?
Maybe he’s saying it as a joke and wants you to play along with a witty retort.
If he’s from Kansai, that might be the case.
Though honestly, I also get the feeling he may just be saying it without thinking.
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You’re not doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to put yourself through something painful, right?
If you have other offers, why not say goodbye to him? You’re not doing papa-katsu to pile on more stress.
I just want a genuine romantic relationship. If it were me, I’d cut things off.
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For some reason, there are men who criticize others without taking a good look at themselves—especially those who try to start an arrangement with an average or low allowance.
Men who are genuinely attractive in terms of looks and personality seem less likely to say things like that.
It’s not worth letting the words of men decades older than you—men who are many steps further along in the aging process—hurt you.
I hope you can stay bright and wonderful so that you receive offers from men who don’t think, “You’re only valuable because you’re young.”
Akari
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I can’t believe someone would say something that rude… Even if they meant it as a joke, you just don’t say things like that to a woman. It makes you want to say, “If it bothers you that much, then pay for my beauty treatments!”
I’m not particularly pretty or beautiful myself, but I’ve spent my whole life focused on just one thing, without really taking an interest in anything else, so I’m pretty clueless about everything. Even though I’d like to try beauty treatments and things like that, I don’t know what would suit me or where to start, so I haven’t done anything.
I do exercise, and because my job involves being in front of people and constantly feeling like I’m being watched, I think my posture is pretty good, at least.
I do think, “Why don’t you just say goodbye to someone that awful?” But if he’s otherwise a good person or there are circumstances involved, I’d tell him, “When you say things like that, it really hurts me.” If I couldn’t even say that, I might ask, “Am I really that awful?” Could you tell him that?
Either way, I don’t think the important thing is having a strong enough heart not to care. I think it’s important to properly communicate your feelings to the other person.
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