Tips Mar 1, 2022 22:16

I’m the man in my 30s who asked a question earlier.

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I’d like to clarify something, as my wording may have been misleading. The second time, we went to a hotel, but she said she was tired and fell asleep. The third time, we originally didn’t have much time and had agreed on dinner only (no intimacy). However, she messaged me beforehand saying an adult relationship (intimate) would also be possible, so after dinner I tried to invite her, but she said she had to get home because she had to get up early the next day, and we ended things much earlier than planned. Before the fourth time, I also messaged her that I wanted an adult relationship (intimate), and she agreed, but it didn’t happen either. We’ve made plans to stay overnight next time. Should I invite her to a hotel from the start instead of going out for dinner first?
👤 Asked by Guest 👨GenderMale 🎂 30s 👑 Universe male member
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8 answers

ダイ
A~Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月1程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s 👨 Male Universe member
Isn’t there usually no difference between the allowance for dinner only and an adult relationship (intimate)? Either way, this sounds like a situation where you’d normally part ways without going on as many as four dates.
(3 replies left)
茉莉花
茉莉花 ?
Other
Saying he’s sleepy on the first meeting is basically insulting you. Most people would realize that right away. And then there’s the fact that the allowance for dinner is fairly generous. That may be part of the reason, but I think he simply doesn’t want to. Marika
(3 replies left)
綾瀬なな
綾瀬なな ?
Other
Your original question and this one are quite different stories. Could it be that, because you’re young, you think you can say anything and get away with it? Maybe you’re coming on a little too strong. It probably wasn’t that he fell asleep—you may have been given the “I’m asleep” treatment. I hope you have better luck with your next encounter.
(3 replies left)
だて◎ゆめ
👨 Male Universe member
From the very beginning, it’s been hotels only! You two really have quite a relationship, lol. I couldn’t help but remember the “underwear after the bath” incident, lol. Things like that happen between men and women, but I feel like it may be time for you to make up your mind soon.
(3 replies left)
前澤(スタッフ)
前澤(スタッフ) Male Column Send a reverse offer to this responder
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private 👨 Male Universe staff
I do think there may be an issue on the questioner’s side, but it’s hard to tell from the information provided. Since you haven’t had an adult relationship even once so far, I don’t think it’s a good idea to suggest staying overnight. For next time, rather than proposing an overnight stay, I think you should invite her while promising that you’ll part ways within two hours. Then, even if you’re reluctant to leave, make sure you do so before the two hours are up. You should give her the impression that you’re a man who keeps his promises. If things had already progressed to the point where an adult relationship was understood to be okay, I don’t think she would refuse. Wait—could it be that you’ve been bringing up staying overnight all along? If you suddenly suggest spending the night together, I think it’s normal for her to leave, even if she came expecting an adult relationship. Rather than trying to stay overnight right away, I think it would be better to start by spending just one or two hours together.
(3 replies left)
カズ
Age: Private 👨 Male Universe member
You seem like a pretty innocent person. I think you’d be better off seeing someone else.
(3 replies left)
あや
あや ?
Other
She sounds mentally strong too. At least judging by her actions, she clearly doesn’t want to go to a hotel with you. When it comes to understanding someone, their actions—not words like “I want to go to a hotel”—show what they really mean. Anyone can say anything.
(3 replies left)
シアトル
🏅 大阪の昼寝引きこもりトレーダー
スペ90以下のひとを厚く囲い込み、一生面倒見て実質一夫多妻で大切にしたい独身です。
Age: 50s 👨 Male Universe member
If you absolutely want to do it, you should go to a hotel first. You should message him saying that you want to do it today, right away, and that you won’t meet if that’s not possible. It’s unusual to be turned down that often. Ask why. If you’re doing something wrong, fix it. You should also agree on the exact allowance before meeting. If it isn’t enough, ask for more. If he can’t, turn him down yourself. At this point, I think you’d be better off finding someone else.
(3 replies left)