How do women who can do papa-katsu so normally manage their feelings?
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I’m 25 and have been doing papa-katsu for two months.
I’m struggling because I can’t see men who are much older than me as men. The other day, I met the youngest papa I’ve seen so far—41—but even then, I couldn’t do it.
The women answering here seem to be lovey-dovey with their papas (male supporters), but how are they able to see them as men?
Are women like those respondents a minority? Do most people just switch off their feelings and go out for dinner or to a hotel?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
When I was 25, I was in a normal romantic relationship with a 41-year-old man—we were boyfriend and girlfriend. So if you’re not comfortable with older men, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) probably isn’t for you.
I just enjoy going on dates normally, so I’ve never found it unpleasant.
Oh, correction:
I don’t continue seeing anyone who makes me feel uncomfortable.
Marika
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I’m not always able to see someone as a romantic prospect from the very beginning, either.
Sometimes I’ll think, “Wow, he’s a handsome, distinguished older man,” from the first meeting, take his business card, go out to dinner with him, and realize I’ve fallen for him. But that happens very rarely—less than one in ten. Even so, I think there have been two or three men like that.
And those handsome, distinguished papa (male supporter)s are popular with other women too. So when I find someone I like, I make sure to reply immediately to their emails, calls, and LINE messages, and I basically adjust completely to their schedule. I also try to understand their needs in depth and even fulfill desires they haven’t realized they have themselves.
I think long and hard about what kind of mistress they’re looking for. Some papas become really attached to me just because I put that much thought into it.
Doing this has meant that I now only date genuinely handsome, distinguished older papas.
That said, I’ve never been comfortable with the idea that youth is everything, so I may have found it easier than you to date older men.
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I think that after another year or two of gaining life experience, you may start being able to see older men as men in the normal sense.
But if you still feel the same way in another year or two, I don’t think papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is for you, so you might be better off quitting.
I suspect this is also one of the reasons men at Universe tend to prefer women around 30 (roughly 25–35). It isn’t enjoyable for them if the woman is only dating them reluctantly.
That said, even some women around 20 can naturally see much older men as men, so it may depend on their personality and life experience.
This is mainly something that often changes with life experience. It simply means that women around 30 are more likely than women around 20 to be able to see a significantly older man as a man.
> How do you manage to see them as men?
First, I think you should have sex with men your own age a lot.
About eight times a week.
If you do that, you may start seeing men differently.
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There are also people among the questioners on this site who are forcing themselves to continue these relationships even though they don’t want to.
I think it becomes painful when you numb yourself and endure it. In the end, it comes down to whether you’re willing to put up with it for the money—or whether you feel it’s not worth going that far.
I haven’t had that much experience yet, so I’ve never really felt uncomfortable. And I’m 36 myself, so maybe the age gap isn’t necessarily that large.
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Dinner-only arrangements can happen as part of the job too, right?
If an adult relationship (intimate) is no longer an option for you, then your choices are to switch to an A-type arrangement or quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) altogether.
Please take some time to think it over carefully.
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I think papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) may not be right for you.
I don’t know whether they’re in the minority, but I don’t think women who maintain long-term arrangements simply switch off their feelings when they go out to dinner or stay at a hotel.
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