I enjoy sex, but penetration hurts. Sometimes it hurts at first but then becomes more comfortable, while other times the pain continues and is genuinely unbearable. I don’t usually masturbate by inserting my fingers or anything inside.

Question

It’s not that I lack experience—I have sex once or twice a week, have been with around 30 people, and I’d estimate I’ve had sex 200–300 times. Should I insert a vibrator myself before sex? It even hurts when I’m fingered. Does anyone else experience this?

Answer 1

Past trauma may be causing you to tense up without realizing it, which could be why it feels painful. Are you getting sufficiently wet—or using lubricant? After your bath, apply some lotion or lubricant yourself and make sure you’re well lubricated.

Answer 2

Saying you like it even though it hurts sounds contradictory, but… I think it might help to remember when it doesn’t hurt. If your partner does things the same way as then, maybe it won’t hurt. You said it doesn’t hurt when your partner is more gentle, but that seems pretty difficult to achieve. Is that not actually the case?

Answer 3

It seems like getting her sufficiently wet during foreplay should be enough, but I feel that women who aren’t comfortable with manual stimulation are more likely to experience pain at the entrance. Someone I’m close with is like that.

I enjoy sex, but penetration hurts. Sometimes it hurts at first but then becomes more comfortable, while other times the pain continues and is genuinely unbearable. I don’t usually masturbate by inserting my fingers or anything inside.

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I enjoy sex, but penetration hurts. Sometimes it hurts at first but then becomes more comfortable, while other times the pain continues and is genuinely unbearable. I don’t usually masturbate by inserting my fingers or anything inside.

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