Thank You — Erotic Massage Services (Adult Entertainment) and papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)
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I’m both surprised and happy that so many people took the time to respond.
When I was working in erotic massage services (adult entertainment) to pay for tuition, there were times when intercourse was involved, so I thought being someone’s mistress or doing papa-katsu, where my private life would be eaten into, was impossible. But now that I’ve only just started, there are many things that are healing and enjoyable, and in terms of fun, papa-katsu is definitely better..
These days, more than having intercourse, I feel frightened by the idea of doing sexual things with several different people.
The erotic massage service I’m planning to work at was described by a scout, I think, as “a high-level place, so there’s only about a 60% chance you’ll pass.” I applied with the attitude of trying my luck, but the interviewer gave me unexpectedly high praise and hired me, so now I feel I can’t back out.
I’m not really the type to live extravagantly, so I’m not truly struggling to the point where I need to juggle papa-katsu and adult entertainment. However, after losing my job, my self-esteem declined, and right now I’m somehow filling that void by feeling needed by my papa (a male supporter) through papa-katsu and by getting accepted at a high-level adult entertainment venue.
I used to do entertainment work as well, so perhaps I’m reasonably attractive, but if I’m going to earn money, I’d like to study hard too—not just rely on my appearance—and build genuine confidence in myself.
There are some wonderful female members and male members here, so if you know of any other ways to genuinely improve my self-esteem, I’d be grateful for your advice. (I don’t want to trouble anyone, so I’ll end my questions here.)
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
You had a regular day job and then lost it, right?
So, you’re receiving ¥150,000 plus extras each month from each of four papas, got accepted at a high-end sensual salon, and that made you feel recognized and validated—is that about right?
Ultimately, I think your self-esteem will truly recover once you return to the mainstream workforce and succeed there.
Set some goals, earn money, and invest or start a business so you can aim to leave the adult entertainment industry as soon as possible.
If you have men you genuinely enjoy seeing, you may be able to continue papa-katsu for a long time.
Good luck.
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Only 60% of the people scouted for the adult entertainment industry get accepted…
That’s something they say to everyone. Given the current climate, I think very few people actually want to go into that line of work, since they know it isn’t exactly viewed favorably.
The interviewer probably thinks that unless the club has plenty of girls on its roster, customers won’t come in. Even if they don’t sell well, having a large number of women available makes it easier to attract customers.
You’ll just be treated as one of the supporting players around the women who are the club’s best sellers. But if you’re thinking, “I’ll become one of those top sellers,” then by all means, stay in the adult entertainment industry.
If it were me, I’d get qualifications that earn recognition from ordinary people, find a good job, and work toward leading others. Both paths are difficult at first, but this one offers much more security in old age.
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I used to think that my worth came from how others valued me. But after being pushed around by other people and going through hell, I eventually stopped caring about how others saw my worth.
From then on, I decided that I would determine my own value. But lately, even my own sense of worth has started to feel irrelevant.
Good outcomes don’t happen because you have high value. They’re simply the result of your intentions and actions. “Value” is just an illusion. And outcomes aren’t inherently good or bad—they simply happened because that’s how things unfolded.
In other words, you don’t even need to build your self-esteem, and being attached to it can be harmful.
People like Sanma Akashiya and Taro Okamoto were highly acclaimed despite having low self-esteem.
“I’m not that special. I’m just doing what I can and what I enjoy.” I think people like that probably see things in much the same way.
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“Whoa, you’re more well-endowed than I am! And you have such a small waist. Your arms are huge! You’re way more ripped than my boyfriend. You really do look slimmer than you are in clothes. Amazing♡”
I feel my self-esteem peak when a PJ I’m having an adult relationship (intimate) with for the first time touches my muscles and kisses them.
The other time is when I hand over the allowance. It feels genuinely great every time, since I always give more than double the going rate, and they’re absolutely delighted.
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On this Q&A site, I occasionally see posts along the lines of, “I was paid such-and-such per hour at a high-end escort service,” or “At an audition for an entertainment agency, they said this and that.”
I feel like people who say things like that, just like the person asking this question, are trying to boost their self-esteem by being assigned a high price. Isn’t a world where appearance and youth are everything suffocating?
To put it rather harshly, seeing people celebrate that kind of evaluation makes me think of slaves boasting about their chains. Interviewers at adult-entertainment establishments see women as nothing more than business tools. I really think it’s pointless to let evaluations from people like that make you happy or sad. There are so many more important things in the world.
I think the best way to improve your self-esteem is to work toward something and gain a sense of growth and accomplishment. For example, why not earn a qualification that’s useful for a job and has nothing to do with how attractive you look?
The best thing would be to distance yourself from the adult-entertainment world and similar circles, so I think you should find somewhere outside the nightlife scene where you can make use of yourself, whatever it may be. I hope you find a new standard for evaluating yourself soon.
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