I have a papa (a male supporter) whom I met for the first time and began seeing on a monthly arrangement at his suggestion. We kept in frequent contact and had an adult relationship (intimate). Recently, however, it has been difficult for us to find time to meet. I know he probably shouldn’t have, but p asked me to leave the club. I also thought that some of the business owners around him might be members here, so I worried that continuing secretly and being found out would cause problems, and I quit. However, there is still no sign of my allowance being transferred. The only money I have received so far was transportation fare for our first meeting. A little while ago, I told him that I would like to receive my allowance, but he seemed offended and even stopped replying to my LINE messages at times. I feel that I made a mistake myself.
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I suppose it would be best to give up on this p and move on, but I was shocked that someone this awful actually exists. I’m not looking for a pretend romance with a man 20 or 30 years older than me, but I had hoped to enjoy seeing someone I could trust. Being deceived and betrayed by a stingy, cowardly older man who was all talk has left me feeling angry and heartbroken. What was all that time we spent together even for...? At the very least, I wish he would pay me the allowance for the months we actually met.
Many of the people who answer here seem to have considerate relationships with their partners, and I find myself envious, thinking that if I had someone like that, I could have a fulfilling relationship both physically and emotionally. I’m no longer a member, but would there really be nothing the staff could do even if I told them about this kind of trouble? I feel extremely unsettled. I would be grateful for any advice about what I can do from here. Sorry for the long post.
Oh no, you were scammed? That’s awful.
Never be intimate with someone before you’ve actually received the money.
Was he someone you met through a men’s-supporter app? I didn’t realize there were people like that on Universe too. When was he supposed to transfer the money? Did you discuss that with him?
Please explain everything in detail to the staff via LINE. I really hope they take action against such a despicable man.
I hope no one else gets caught up in his next scheme.
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First, you should re-register.
At the interview, explain: “The man I was introduced to last time asked me to leave the club, so I did—but after ending things with him, I decided to come back.”
Asking a woman to leave the club is a clear violation of the rules. Even if it doesn’t result in an immediate forced expulsion, I’m sure he’ll be monitored as someone to watch out for.
That said, monthly arrangements often lead to trouble.
The man this time was essentially freeloading, which was especially malicious. But I’ve also heard of cases where things end because someone asks for their allowance under a monthly arrangement even though they haven’t been able to meet due to illness, such as COVID.
Please only agree to a monthly arrangement after seeing someone several times and becoming truly confident that you can trust him enough to make that kind of commitment.
Take this as a valuable lesson and move on to the next one.
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When I was struggling mentally and took time off work, I attended a return-to-work rehabilitation program. It was pretty strict. They acknowledged that the supervisor who caused my breakdown was at fault, but said that simply blaming the supervisor wouldn’t help—if I encountered someone similar again, I might break down all over again. I had to frame it as “I was at fault for breaking down” in order to avoid repeating the same thing.
From that perspective, the person asking the question is at fault here. Agreeing to a monthly arrangement before building any trust was naive.
From now on, learn to judge people better, build trust, and only then agree to a monthly arrangement.
On the other hand, from a different perspective, you simply lost the gamble this time. You might get lucky next time. Even if you repeat the same thing, it could still work out.
In other words, there’s no need to be excessively pessimistic. Everyone fails or loses sometimes.
All you can do is move on to the next one.
Also, I’m open to reverse offers if “intimate videos are okay.” I haven’t received a single reverse offer so far, though.
Whatever happened to all those women who said, “I’m a fan of Flag Maker”? LOL
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Wow… that’s truly awful. He sounds just like the “100-million-yen sex guy” everyone’s been talking about in Bunshun…
I agree with Marika-san—it’s probably best to report everything in detail and then register again.
I hope you meet a wonderful papa (a male supporter) this time.
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Some people are truly awful.
You should report every detail to the staff, have them verify his identity, and of course make sure he’s registered again, right?
Marika
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