There seems to be a lot of discussion about women who self-harm, so I’d like to share my experience as a current female member with self-harm scars.

In both my private life and at work, I’ve had quite a bit of experience dealing with people going through manic and depressive episodes. What I’ve learned from them is that when they’re manic, you shouldn’t get them even more hyped up. If anything, you should make an effort to bring their energy down a little. When they’re depressed, listen carefully and maintain a comfortable distance without trying to force them to cheer up. And never, ever tell them to “try harder.” I don’t know what the right answer is, but one thing I do know is: “You absolutely must not die.” I say that because I lost a friend. I have no problem with women who self-harm or girls who are emotionally struggling. I’d be totally open to making an offer, but I wouldn’t want to take things any further with a casual “Let’s date!” attitude. And then there’s the question of what mental illness really is, and how those affected—as well as the people around them—should deal with it. I hope people can come to understand it properly and sooner. Life is becoming difficult enough as it is. People who are struggling mentally often have truly special talents. It’s surprising how often that’s the case. I hope that, two years from now, there will be many more places where people like them can thrive. It’s me.

I had two female classmates in college—one who cut herself and another who overdosed on sleeping pills—but when the two of them talked together, they seemed perfectly normal. They were both dating guys from our class, but whenever men were involved, their emotional ups and downs and behavior became so intense that it was honestly shocking. What about you, questioner? At relationship clubs, I think most men don’t want to stir up trouble or ruin their families. So to receive an offer, you probably need to be extraordinarily beautiful—beautiful enough to overwhelm their reason—or have something that really appeals to men. That’s just my speculation as a woman, though. Still, both of those girls were popular with men. One had a cute look, and the other had a more glamorous, elegant beauty. Nostalgic. By the way, I wonder how Ai is doing. Her name used some unusual characters, but I’ve forgotten how to write it. Marika

Self-harm scars are painful to look at, so if I knew about them, I wouldn’t make an offer.

As the questioner’s introduction suggests, women who self-harm often come with emotional dependency as part of the package once you get close to them. Since I dislike being depended on, I avoid them.