Would it be rude to ask a new male partner to get tested for STIs before we have sex?
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Whenever I meet someone new, I always get tested for STIs so that, if I happen to have one, I won’t pass it on to them. (I also get tested regularly even when I’m not seeing anyone new.)
However, it would defeat the purpose if I caught something from a new partner. If that happened, I could also put my other papas (male supporters) at risk, and some STIs, such as chlamydia, can lead to infertility. For these reasons, I would like men to get tested as well. (It seems syphilis has been spreading recently, too.) Of course, we use condoms, but I would still feel more at ease if we both knew for certain that we were STI-free.
For male members: how would you feel if a woman you met for the first time asked you to get tested for STIs?
As an aside, I’ve heard that in some countries overseas, people get tested for STIs before starting a relationship and show each other their results. I find it strange that so few people do this in Japan. Aren’t they afraid?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
As for that proposal, it would only make men feel uncomfortable, and I don’t see how it would help prevent sexually transmitted infections.
I also get tested for STIs regularly, but not every single time I’m intimate with someone.
I always use condoms, of course, but I fully understand that they aren’t 100% effective.
If getting tested before being intimate for the first time were all it took, that would be simple enough. But in the end, it would only prove that you weren’t infected at that particular time.
You could catch something from another woman and then pass it on the second time or later, couldn’t you?
Ideally, everyone would get tested before being intimate for the first time and stick to just one partner, but that isn’t realistic.
Other countries are other countries. I personally hate the idea that Japan should follow suit just because something is being done overseas.
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I think it’s fine to say, though some people may take offense. I agree with Fuu—it’s probably best to mention it in your profile.
And you should bring your own test results and ask the man to bring his as well.
Actually, that’s a really good idea.
Marika
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Some men may find it rude, but your reasoning is sound, so I think you should only date men who are willing to accept those terms.
However, saying, “I get tested regularly too,” can give the impression that you sleep with lots of different people.
It might be better to phrase it like this:
“I’m willing to get tested as well, so I’d like us both to bring our test results and enter into an adult relationship (intimate) with peace of mind.”
Is that the idea? You don’t usually get tested and don’t know that many men, but you’re worried about getting an infection, which is precisely why you want him to get tested?
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I’m either an A or B type, so when I’m a B type, I bring my test results to dinner.
If I’m asked to get tested again, of course I will. But I get tested every two weeks anyway, so I’ll have been tested before an adult date regardless.
It’s just basic etiquette.
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I’m scared too.
I haven’t made any offers for a while, but when I did, I attached my STI test results. These days, we’re each seeing just one partner, so we’re dating without worrying about sexually transmitted infections.
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There are people who’ll get tested for STIs. I think that’s very sincere of them. If I knew they weren’t infected, I’d want to go without protection too, since it feels better for me—but only if they have recent test results.
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