There’s a papa I genuinely like romantically, but…
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I received 10 at our first meeting, 15 for an adult relationship (intimate) the second time, and 100 the third time. He said, “I’ll give you 100, the same amount as a traditional engagement gift. I’m not rich, so I can’t give you an allowance going forward, but you can leave whenever you start disliking me. You can even block me right now if you want.”
Today was our seventh time meeting, and based on my papa’s words and actions, it’s become clear that there’s really no chance of receiving any more money from him. If I see my papa only as a source of money, then cutting things off immediately would be the right choice as a papa-katsu girl.
Also, he’s married, so I feel that if I have feelings for him beyond the money, I should walk away.
Even so, I don’t want to break things off, and I’m just stuck and indecisive.
What would you do?
I’m Saito, a column writer ♪
I agree with Rin. If I really cared about him, I’d break up with him and teach him a lesson.
These days, I’m surrounded mostly by business owners, so they tend to have that kind of strong resolve.
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I think it gets more interesting and brings out more genuine feelings once you’ve gone beyond 15–20 meetings.
If the person asking is serious about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it’s still too soon to be thinking about that.
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I think it’s a pretty cowardly way to handle things.
The man you’re seeing has probably realized how you feel and is telling you that you have the right to choose.
I’d say you should cut things off, but I know it’s not that simple—that’s why you’re asking here, right?
If he has a family, what do you really stand to gain by continuing this relationship without even receiving an allowance?
Maybe you should take some time to think about why you started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) in the first place.
There’s no need to rush into an answer, and you might even meet someone else who’s a better fit in the meantime!
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I don’t understand the point of it being the same amount as a betrothal gift.
If I were a woman, I’d cut him loose—he sounds like a pain to deal with.
If it’s 150,000 yen per pay-per-meeting arrangement, does that mean 150,000 × 7 = 1.05 million yen, roughly breaking even?
You’re free to do as you please.
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It feels pretty much the same. It’s been about a year now, and I might be getting a bonus this time? It won’t be cash, but a gift—though it’s practically the same as cash.
I’m still seeing him because I still have feelings for him.
Marika
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That’s a pretty thug-like way to handle things—rolling the dice so he doesn’t have to make the decision himself and leaves it up to you.
I’m not particularly impressed with Joe, but ultimately, go with what you think is best.
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I really can’t figure out what this papa actually means~ ^^
Possibilities:
1) If his “I’m not rich” claim is true, maybe he’s taking out loans or doing something seriously shady to fund his papa-katsu.
2) Maybe his definition of “rich” is just completely different—for example, he doesn’t consider someone rich unless they have over 10 billion yen in assets?
No. 2 would be lucky, but No. 1 would be seriously bad.
If it were me, I’d casually ask him directly. It’s a perspective ordinary people just can’t understand.
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If you’re not going to disrupt your partner’s life as a mistress, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with developing feelings that go beyond the money…
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