I have a pay-per-meeting papa who gives me 50,000 yen, plus 10,000 yen for dinner, but he emails me every day and it’s annoying. I live in Tokyo while he’s from out of town, so we only meet about twice a month.
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I want to gently tell him that I’d prefer he not email me every day. Is there a good way to say it?
I’ve never really liked emailing in the first place, so I’m starting to dislike him too. I’m fine with using email to coordinate schedules and keep in touch, but when he says things like, “What are you doing?” or “You haven’t contacted me,” every day, I feel like I’m being pressured to reply, and I don’t like it.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂30s👑Universe female member
Gradually take longer to reply, and if she points it out, say, “I’ve been busy and haven’t really had time to respond,” then slowly fade out of the email exchange. Any papa (male supporter) who fails to realize that this is bothering her is incredibly oblivious.
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I understand that you want to do something about it.
But reality is harsh. Trying to reform an older guy takes a lot of time, effort, and energy—and in the end, he probably won’t change. So you have two options:
1. If you’re in a position to choose your papa (a male supporter), cut him loose.
2. If you can’t, compromise and put up with it.
If you want to reach option 1, start by widening your net and accepting all kinds of papas: “I’m willing to give anyone a chance.” Then keep only the ones who are relatively decent.
In other words, you need to be prepared to wade through some pretty murky water first.
If you keep your net narrow, the good fish aren’t going to conveniently swim in on their own.
Use a bottom trawl to haul in everything, then choose the fish that fetch the best price.
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After replying late, try saying:
“I'm sorry.
Ever since I made a mistake with a work email, I've developed a trauma around emailing—even with people I'm close to.
I worry that I haven't expressed myself properly, so I keep deleting and rewriting my messages over and over… I just can't seem to send them (;_;). Maybe I'm being too neurotic…
That's why I always have such a hard time replying to your messages too, ○○. I'm truly sorry (;_;).”
If they still pressure you to reply, it’s stressful, so just keep saying, “I didn’t receive your email,” and blame it on the server.
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He probably wants to stay in touch regularly too, so it may be difficult, but I think it would be fine to be straightforward and send something like:
“I’m not really into emailing, so it’s hard for me to keep replying. Would it be okay if I only respond when we need to arrange dates? I don’t really email my friends either. When we meet on [date], I’d love to hear all about what you’ve been up to.”
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There are questions like this from time to time.
Maybe there’s some magic phrase that lets you achieve your goal without upsetting your papa—that is, while keeping the allowance coming—but I’m not giving that away for free.
Papa-katsu isn’t just about taking your panties off. I think part of it is knowing how to maintain the right distance from your papa while satisfying him in ways other than with your dick. Use your brain before it leaks out and disappears.
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I don’t mind keeping in touch—in fact, I’m more the type who wants to message every day, so I’m on the papa’s side here.
From the perspective of someone who wants daily contact, it’s hard to understand why they don’t message every day, or whether they’re really that busy. So I think the only thing you can do is explain how you feel clearly.
For example: “I don’t message everyone every day. I mainly use messages to make plans, and I’d rather have normal conversations when we meet.”
You really can’t know unless they tell you. In the end, I guess it just comes down to compatibility!
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