I can’t clearly explain what I dislike about them, but on some instinctive level, I just can’t stand them. Even when someone at work simply talks to me, I feel disgusted and nauseous. Since we need to discuss work, I can’t just ignore them, and it’s really troubling me.
On the other hand, I don’t feel any disgust toward supervisors who are more than 10 years older than me. So I don’t think I dislike men in general. In fact, I get along well with my papas (male supporters) who are more than 20 years older than me.
For those of you answering, how do you feel when interacting with members of the opposite sex around your own age?
I’d also appreciate any advice on how to deal with someone of the opposite sex whom you find difficult to be around.
It’s not that I have anything against women my own age—I just haven’t happened to date them much.
My ex-wife was three years younger than me, and I suppose I simply like being looked up to and relied on.
On the other hand, I’m not comfortable with women my age or older who act condescendingly toward their subordinates.
I have a few coworkers like that—women in their 40s or 50s who are very career-driven—so I keep an appropriate distance and limit our conversations to what’s necessary for work.
Since you’re into women more than ten years older than you, I’d say you’re probably a fairly unusual type. But that means you’re well suited to this world, so I hope you enjoy yourself.
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They may be younger than me as dating partners, haha.
Other than that, I don’t really feel a generational gap—it’s more about whether our personalities click, I suppose.
When I was younger, I struggled with not being able to get results with certain business clients, especially older women in charge or female business owners. As a salesperson, I had to be able to deal with anyone, so it was a serious issue for me. I was trying too hard to be an excellent salesperson, which actually worked against me. Then I noticed that a senior colleague who was doing well had a stable, endearing sales style that made people want to look after him. I tried copying him, and things started going much better, haha.
Maybe you’re also tensing up a bit around people your own age? You don’t have to force yourself to fit in—it’s okay if they’re simply not your type. But once you figure out how to handle those interactions and things become more comfortable, they might not feel like such a hassle anymore.
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I’m Taro, the late-night pooper.
I can’t handle people my own age either, but I have no problem talking to them. Feeling nauseous just because someone speaks to you seems pretty extreme. Maybe there’s some kind of trauma involved, or perhaps you identify with the “Q” in LGBTQ.
There may be quite a few people like that in the caregiving industry. I think it’s admirable.
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I’ve always liked older men. I like the feeling of being able to relax around them and let myself be spoiled a little.
With people my own age, whether at school or at work, I somehow felt uncomfortable unless I was the one who came out on top, so I think I tended to act a little cool when I dated them. But it’s not that I have any actual dislike toward them. Of course, I’ve dated people my own age as well.
Lately, younger men have shown interest in me too, but I get flustered because I’m not sure how to interact with them.
Even when it comes to the opposite sex I’m not comfortable with, if it’s a work-related relationship, I don’t have any particular feelings about them—I just treat them politely and normally. And if they say they like you and want to date you, I think you can simply turn them down.
Marika
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Men my own age are basically a “no” for me… I get turned off when they show romantic feelings or sexual desire.
But the other day, I went to a supper club in Roppongi with my papa, a friend of mine, and one of my papa’s employees. The staff member my papa always requests was so handsome—I thought he might be a 2.5D actor. He was seriously gorgeous.
He seemed like a playboy, so I’d never actually fall for him, and I’d probably get killed by my papa if I said I liked him. But even though I’ve never really been into handsome men, I almost fell for him.
So I realized that I can like men my own age after all, as long as they’re handsome and have their life together. I was disappointed in myself for thinking, “So in the end, it’s all about looks?” But it was a good opportunity to confirm my own unfiltered feelings.
I judge my papa by his face and body in the end, too…
Maybe you only dislike men your own age because all the ones you’ve met are weird.
Additional note:
I later found out that the guy I thought was around thirty was actually in his forties. He looked so young that I couldn’t believe someone could look that young. I guess handsome men really do look younger…
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Perhaps you’re someone who wants to be cared for and pampered. You may not feel able to rely on someone your own age, or perhaps you dislike feeling inferior to them.
Maybe, deep down, you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to keep trying, and that’s why your chest feels heavy.
Try relaxing a little and taking the pressure off.
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