An older man I met outside of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) has developed romantic feelings for me.
This content is machine-translated.
We met through a shared hobby and were more or less just drinking buddies, but apparently he’s genuinely fallen for me, and I’m not sure how to handle it.
He had told me before that I was cute and that he liked me, but he’s a pretty transactional person, so I never thought he was serious. I’m also uncomfortable with anything that feels like a romantic atmosphere, so despite the age gap being about the same as that between a parent and child, I’ve enjoyed spending time with him as one of my close friends who shares my hobby.
He’s seriously asked me to date him a couple of times, but I pretended not to hear him or brushed it off as a joke.
Lately, it seemed like the serious feelings had faded, so I thought we might be able to remain friends as usual. However, several mutual friends have told me that he’s now emotionally tangled up because of his feelings for me.
Honestly, I don’t see him as a romantic prospect at all. But he’s fun to be around as a friend, we see each other through our hobby, and we have many mutual friends, so I can’t simply cut him off completely. I’m at a loss.
What should I do?
Sorry for asking something unrelated to papa-katsu.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I’m Dai, a male member.
A man who confesses his feelings to a woman 20 years younger may, if you unintentionally give him false hope, potentially become a stalker at worst.
Tell him clearly and directly, rather than gently hinting:
“I don’t see you as a romantic interest at all. I enjoy your company as a friend, and we see each other through our shared hobbies. We also have many mutual friends, so honestly, this puts me in a difficult position.”
If he still refuses to back off, you may need to tell him that, unfortunately, you won’t be able to continue associating with him even as a friend.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from the President’s Office here.
It seems papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) has been trending lately.
Is it really true that you can get paid?
If you steer the conversation that way, she might bring up a relationship where she receives an allowance. You could say something like:
“I’d actually prefer that kind of relationship, since I wouldn’t have to get serious.”
That might work, but if you put it the wrong way, she could spread rumors that you’re doing papa-katsu, so it’s probably best to turn her down tactfully.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
He’s a pathetic, half-hearted man. Even the way he went for it was half-hearted. You can’t win a match with jabs alone.
You either throw everything into a straight punch and land it, or get hit with a counter and knocked down. And if you lose, you get out of the ring and walk away—in other words, you leave that community.
I believe that’s the kind of resolve that should come naturally when you fall for someone. You’re not a student anymore.
So in the end, that man’s “love” was only that shallow. Your interpretation isn’t wrong at all. You have absolutely nothing to worry about!
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
