The papa I’ll have been seeing for a year this month has stopped complimenting me by telling me I’m cute.

I’m Dai, a male member. If you’re sticking with just one papa, it’s still a good idea to keep meeting new people regularly. You never know when the day might come when you part ways… But just because he’s stopped calling you cute, I wouldn’t assume a breakup is necessarily around the corner. The longer you’re together, the more attached you become, and there’s also a sense of security—so it’s not that easy to end things.

I’m Taro, a male member. Here’s a little insight from a man’s perspective: I don’t compliment beautiful women on their looks. They’ve probably already heard it from plenty of people, so I doubt it would make much of an impression. Instead, while I may acknowledge that they’re attractive, I compliment their personality. On the other hand, with women who aren’t conventionally beautiful, I do compliment their appearance. I put into words the appeal I may be the only one to have noticed and enthusiastically praise it. That said, either way, it’s ultimately a strategic move to win a woman’s favor. After you’ve been together for about a year, those little tricks are no longer necessary... Though I’d still express my feelings for her. If I started doing that less and less, it might mean things had become routine and I was gradually losing interest. The early stages of a relationship are fun, but it’s also enjoyable to watch the relationship deepen after one or two years. It does feel slightly different from when you first got together, though. The question is how you create that new kind of excitement. If you can do that, I think the relationship can last a long time. There’s no single right answer, but hearing “Why don’t you call me cute anymore?” would really get to me. Being able to express feelings like that is itself a sign that the relationship has deepened. If you’ve made a full effort to work through things like that and still get nothing in return, then maybe it’s time to conclude that the spark has gone out and move on.

I’m Aya, a female member. If there hasn’t been any change in how often you meet or communicate, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. A lot of men aren’t very complimentary. He may have just been making an effort at first, and probably isn’t naturally good at giving compliments. Personally, I try to “compliment someone’s inner qualities when the relationship is still new, and focus more on their appearance the longer it continues.” Normally, people tend to think the opposite is more effective, but in a long-term relationship, you already know each other’s personalities pretty well. That’s why I feel that complimenting each other’s looks can help you become a man and woman again. But most men stop complimenting your appearance as the relationship goes on, so when I want to be complimented, I’ll say things like, “I got my hair cut—does it suit me?” or “I’ve lost weight!” myself.

Do you still tell your papa how thankful you are every time, just like you did in the beginning? You might think he already knows you appreciate him even if you don’t say it out loud. But as you both get more comfortable with each other, I think it’s a good idea to take the opportunity at your one-year milestone to express your gratitude to him in words again. It’s also nice to compliment him on the things you like about him. Marika