I recently met an executive through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). The papa (a male supporter) was already at the hotel, and I went there afterward to meet him. We had an adult relationship (intimate), but since he was at the hotel before me, I’ve started worrying that he may have secretly recorded me. He didn’t seem to be paying attention to anything in particular, but should I ask him directly?
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Also, since it was our first time meeting, how should I bring it up?
At a city hotel, going about it that way really does make it look like you’re calling in an escort, doesn’t it?
Paper Airplane
True. If you check in beforehand, you can even do that when you enter the room together after dinner.
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here.
If you’re already waiting inside the hotel room, then you’re right—you wouldn’t notice even if a hidden camera had been installed.
That said, even if you ask now, the person who filmed you secretly is hardly going to admit it, so there’s no point in asking.
What’s done is done, and there’s nothing you can do about it now. I think it’s better to focus on what you’ll do next.
By the way, if the papa was already at the hotel, does that mean this wasn’t arranged through Universe? With Universe, you can’t meet in a hotel room from the very first meeting.
From now on, it might be better not to let the other person wait inside the room. Another option would be to avoid having an adult relationship with anyone you don’t feel you can trust.
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I’m Rin, a female member of SALON.
No one’s going to admit, “Yes, I was secretly filming you,” when you ask them.
If you’re worried, stop meeting at hotels—or take responsibility for protecting yourself.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
A woman I used to date once thought that the Muji diffuser I’d placed by the bed to make the room smell nice might actually be for secretly filming her.
Women who think that way probably have had some unpleasant experiences with men in the past.
I feel sorry for them, but if they can’t trust men at all, I don’t think they should pursue an adult relationship (intimate).
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I’m sorry, but you’re being far too careless. There’s no point asking your partner. Even if they were secretly filming you, no one would admit, “Yes, I was.” On the contrary, they might get furious at being accused. If that possibility didn’t even occur to you, unfortunately, I have to say that papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) may not be for you. If you keep going like this, you’ll only end up getting deeply hurt.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Even if you enter a hotel together, he could set up a hidden camera while you’re taking a shower.
I don’t think you should enter a private room or become intimate with someone you feel that uneasy about.
You can ask him directly if you want, but would that really make you feel reassured? No matter how you phrase it, you’ll probably come across as a suspicious woman making baseless accusations, so I don’t think there’s a good way to ask.
If you absolutely have to, your best precaution beforehand would be to enter the hotel together, say you’ll wash his back, take a shower together, and tell him not to leave any personal belongings where they can be seen from the bed. Even then, though, I wouldn’t want to date someone that dangerous.
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