I may have to start having adult relationships with my papas soon. I currently have seven papas, but I’m only in adult relationships with two of them. One is on a monthly arrangement, so I can manage to live as long as I have him. I was also really serious about papa-katsu until a few months ago and managed to save nearly ¥10 million, but it took a toll on my mental health. I’ve mostly cut ties with those papas, and although my income has nearly been cut in half, I’m now doing papa-katsu with much less stress.
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My monthly-arrangement papa is also very serious about papa-katsu, so he has lots of other women, which makes me anxious (though I don’t think he’ll drop me). Because of that, I recently registered with Universe again and ended up increasing the number of papas I see. There are two papas I met four or five months ago who haven’t progressed to an adult relationship, as well as some papas I’ve met recently whom I see every week. It seems like all of them are starting to consider an adult relationship. They all agreed to my preferred rates (¥70,000 pay-per-meeting, or ¥200,000–¥300,000 for two or three meetings a month), but the issue isn’t the money. I don’t know what to do because having sex with multiple men takes a toll on me mentally. I honestly wish they would just keep seeing me for dinner only (no intimacy). I’m not struggling financially anyway.
I don’t have trouble talking to men, but having physical relationships has become exhausting. Is it normal to want to have sex with someone if I enjoy talking to him?
Am I the weird one? Maybe papa-katsu just isn’t for me...
I’m BB7.
If sex or papa-katsu becomes your job, it turns into an obligation, gets boring, and can really wear you down.
You’re basically running a one-person black company through papa-katsu.
If you want to keep things to a minimum without pushing yourself, why not say goodbye to everyone except your papa?
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I’m Ayase Nana☆
What you say and what you do don’t match. I feel sorry for your other papas—you’re acting like someone who stops feeding the fish once they’ve been caught.
If you were in their position, you’d probably be furious too. Why not set your other papas free already?
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What you’re saying and what you’re doing are completely inconsistent.
If you’re not struggling financially and want to keep things to dinner only (no intimacy), you shouldn’t have negotiated in the first place.
Either way, you should treat the papas who agree to your asking price with sincerity.
Akari
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It’s not weird, but papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) may not be for you.
There are certainly women who don’t need sex as part of the arrangement.
Why not try keeping things to dinner only (no intimacy) with everyone from now on? If you’re that attractive and not struggling financially, it seems like it should be possible.
Paper Airplane
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here, answering as well.
At Universe, did you choose Relationship Type A? If you chose Type B and are now saying,
“I guess I may need to start having adult relationships (intimate) with my papas soon,”
then that’s outrageous.
If you knew from the beginning that this situation would take a toll on you, I really think you should have chosen Relationship Type A from the start.
So, if you already knew you’d end up emotionally distressed and chose Type A accordingly, there’s nothing for you to worry about.
The men understand that it’s dinner only (no intimacy), and are simply hoping it might eventually become an adult relationship (intimate). So it’s perfectly fine to continue keeping things dinner-only.
If the men give up and leave, I don’t think that should cause you any problems.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Something doesn’t add up.
What I find strange is that she says she doesn’t want to have sex with multiple men, yet she’s negotiating allowances for adult relationships (intimate) with multiple men.
If she doesn’t want to be intimate with more than one person, I don’t think she should be having those conversations with more than one person.
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If you’re not struggling financially, and given your situation, I think it would be best to honestly tell him that you don’t want an adult relationship with multiple people.
In fact, you should probably make it clear from the beginning that you’re not looking for an adult relationship.
If you’ve been avoiding the issue with things like, “Maybe next time, if you do ___ for me,” you should be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may end.
If you can’t say no and end up worrying about it again, you’ll probably start feeling unwell again.
Marika
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