Should I consider the men answering questions on this forum representative of the typical club member, or not?
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I’m a 22-year-old woman considering joining a club. I’m not comfortable with people who talk down to others or show little respect, so I’d prefer to avoid getting involved with that kind of person as much as possible.
I assumed that there would be relatively few such men at these clubs, since members tend to have a certain level of social standing.
However, over the past few days, I’ve noticed that a large proportion of the men’s answers on this forum seem to be:
・Missing the point of the question and giving an unrelated answer
・Turning into personal attacks rather than answers
・Using a strange, condescending tone and showing no respect for the other person
If men like this are representative of the typical male members, I’m thinking I should reconsider joining.
For that reason, I’d especially like to hear from female members who have actually met these men, or from staff members. Should I regard the men answering questions here as typical members? Or are the men answering here simply less considerate than average, with most regular members being less arrogant?
I’m Dai, a male member.
If you can afford to hold off on participating, I think it’s better to do so.
For many women, the reason they register is to deal with debt (including student loans) or to cover expenses they need help with, such as living costs.
So I doubt many of them participate because they genuinely want to.
The person who answered had actually used the club and received no negative feedback. I don’t know whether that’s typical for the club, though.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
If you really are a 22-year-old woman who hasn’t joined yet, as your post suggests, I’d recommend taking action and finding out for yourself what’s true and what information actually matters to you.
You’re far too focused on theory, and your insight is way too shallow. The only way to understand the reality of things and figure out what you really want is through real-world experience. If you don’t even understand that, I’m sure you’ll figure it out someday lol.
Anonymous forums and question boxes—by now, you should probably understand the nature of anonymity a little better too lol. Make use of the valuable information you can obtain anonymously in light of your own situation and goals. At least, that’s how I’ve used question boxes, and they’ve been a great help to me lol.
But if you’re pretending to be a 22-year-old woman who hasn’t joined yet and trying to make some grand point to the respondents, then your post is even shallower than the one above lol.
You’re way too obsessed with theory lol. There’s no humor either, so it doesn’t resonate at all. Back to the drawing board.
I’m looking forward to your next post.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Hiroyuki, who created 2channel—the predecessor to 5channel—became famous for saying, “Using a message board is difficult unless you can recognize a lie as a lie.”
I’m sorry if this sounds a little harsh, but this Q&A site is, in a sense, like an anonymous message board. Naturally, there are fake posts, some people respond jokingly to questions that seem like jokes, and the impression you get from someone’s words online can be completely different from the impression you get when you actually meet them.
That’s why I feel that a dating club may not be the right fit for someone with sensibilities as delicate as the questioner’s.
Anyone can do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but that doesn’t mean everyone can enjoy it or earn a lot of money from it.
The women who earn the most are those with the instincts of both a salesperson and a marketer—women who can entertain their partners while taking a realistic, somewhat cynical view of human nature.
There are quite a few women like that in the nightlife industry, but occasionally you find someone from the daytime world who can do it too, and they seem to make a considerable profit through papa-katsu. If you think that description applies to you, why not try going to an interview?
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I don’t think the people answering questions here represent the average member. Typical members probably have no need to ask questions and simply focus quietly on their relationships rather than becoming answerers themselves.
The people answering anonymous questions seem not only confident but also overly self-conscious. They appear to express what they want to say very directly, based on a certain set of rules.
Also, many people asking questions seem to lack a proper understanding of relationships through a dating club, and there are quite a few silly questions. So I think some answerers also play along by giving deliberately silly answers.
That said, dating club members come from a very wide range of backgrounds. There are all kinds of men and women. Even when it comes to money, some members are active with funds for dating that are on an entirely different scale, while others are practically broke despite being in a dating club.
If you read the questions and answers while keeping that broader perspective in mind, I think you’ll start to see another side of things.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Try looking at it from the opposite perspective. You’re answering a constant stream of questions with, at most, ten members—probably only around five of whom answer regularly, right?
It’s starting to get boring giving the usual safe, neutral answers. It’s not my job, and I’m not being paid for it.
I don’t know whether I’m considered a “good member.” That depends on the person.
Still, I don’t seem to have received a single piece of negative feedback. Naturally—I always behave courteously.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
If anything, I’d say they’re very considerate people. The fact that they’ll respond to barely coherent, question-like posts from people who offer nothing in return is more than considerate enough.
Personally, I choose carefully who I show respect to. And I only date people I can respect.
But expecting to receive an allowance and be treated considerately on top of that? That’s laughable. I don’t think you should join a dating club.
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There are only around ten respondents here at most.
Whichever type you prefer is entirely up to you, and whether you choose to date or not is your decision. However, I don’t understand how you can look at these responses and conclude that this is supposed to be the standard.
How can you determine a standard from just a few people—especially when everyone is giving different answers?
Also, I think the respondents often match the tone when a question is asked respectfully.
And isn’t this essentially a defamatory accusation, disguised as a question, claiming that the respondents are arrogant men who lack consideration and only give completely misguided answers?
I think the questioner should try to calm down a little and look at things more objectively.
Though I suppose being young is partly to blame.
After that, please consider whether you actually want to join the club.
Marika
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This is Nana Ayase☆
So, does that mean you’re saying there would be no allowance for the person asking the question…?
Many of the people answering questions here are wonderful.
Since he’s an older business owner, I suppose it’s understandable that he talks down to people. I don’t think this club is a good fit for you, so why not leave it? In the end, the decision is yours.
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