I’m going on a date with a socially prominent man in his 50s whom I met normally—not through papa-katsu.
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I’m in my 20s.
In this situation, should we split the bill? Conversely, would it be rude to say I’ll pay half? Would that make it seem like I’m not letting him take the lead?
I’m worried that getting used to being treated in papa-katsu may have skewed my sense of what’s normal.
I’d appreciate any advice.
I’m Fuu, a column writer.
Maybe he wants to date you?
I’m not really sure what you mean by “social status,” but if he has one, he’d normally pay for you.
If he does pay, be sure to thank him properly by saying, “Thank you very much.”
It also leaves a good impression if you have your wallet in your hand when you thank him.
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Maezawa from the President’s Office will answer this as well.
> A man in his 50s whom I met normally, not through papa-katsu or anything
I’m curious where you met him, though.
When you’re with a man you met normally, I think all you need to do when the bill comes is take out your wallet and pretend you’re going to pay.
If you end up having to pay half despite only pretending, that simply means he wasn’t much of a man.
Normally—especially men from the Showa era—men grew up in a time when it was only natural for them to treat women. So it’s generally hard to imagine one making a woman pay.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Given the age and social-status gap, I think he’ll probably pay. As long as you’re humble and appreciative, it shouldn’t be a problem.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
When the bill comes, I think it’s best to at least make a gesture toward paying. If he suggests splitting it, you can take that as a sign that he’s stingy.
Normally, he’d simply say, “I’ll pay,” or “My treat,” and that would be the end of it.
You might be better off not getting too involved with someone who’s still stingy even at middle age…
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