I’ve been doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for about four years, but I’ve never been doted on by a papa (a male supporter). I don’t think anyone has ever truly been happy to meet me either. I’m a woman in my 30s.
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I’ve moved between various clubs, but with every man, we only met about once a month, the allowance was around 50,000–70,000 yen per pay-per-meeting arrangement, and I considered it a good run if it lasted three meetings. With the papas I met through Universe, 80% had sex on the first meeting and that was the end of it. I’m probably just not suited to papa-katsu. However, I still receive a small number of offers no matter which club I register with, so I’d like to continue papa-katsu while they keep coming. I need the money.
For these past four years, I’ve repeatedly had relationships end after the first meeting (although there have been a few who continued for about six months). It’s made me painfully aware of how lacking I am in appeal, and I’ve become somewhat depressed. Still, I’m truly grateful that I’ve continued doing papa-katsu, and that I’m still receiving offers even as my looks gradually fade. I want to give any new papas I meet all the gratitude and affection I can, with everything I have. I’ve always done my best in my own way, but the results haven’t followed, so I’m asking for advice. I want them to think, “I’m so glad I met this girl!”
1. What papas truly want from women
2. What women do that makes papas happy
3. What kind of woman becomes cherished by her papa in papa-katsu
This time, more than anything, I want to make a papa genuinely happy. Thank you in advance.
I’m Dai, a male member.
If 80% of arrangements end after the first meeting, then I suppose that’s just how things really are—which is probably why terms like YSP have emerged.
That said, men also pay a setting fee just to make an offer, and basically, most of us hope to continue seeing someone over multiple meetings.
Of the women I’ve entered into an adult relationship (intimate) with, about half ended after the first meeting.
The most common reason was that we weren’t compatible physically.
Also, in your case, the allowance may be feeling like a financial burden.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
One vote each for Fuu and Kamihikoki.
Above all, I think what matters is whether a man is genuinely willing to engage with a woman sincerely.
There are probably people who try to deceive you, but regarding:
> Based on your past experiences, I hope you’ll be able to recognize when you meet a good papa (a male supporter) for you.
I really hope you’ll take the time to judge that carefully.
Women may also be able to sense it somehow, including from the amount of the allowance.
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I’m in Seattle.
I searched for “12 foundational skills METI.”
Interesting. Maybe papa-katsu is just like any other kind of work.
Specifically, it’s probably the kind of thing FUU wrote about. A papa who isn’t interesting to talk to, or someone who’s a total dead fish, might only last one meeting.
If you ask for too much upfront, they may cut you off quickly, even if things seem good at first.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
Let me answer your questions.
① What papas really want from women
→ Tightness down there, sexual compatibility, and pleasure.
A comfortable time together, and an atmosphere where you can enjoy being together even without talking.
② Things women can do that make papas happy
→ Smile, stay close in bed, and hug during intimate moments.
Letting him try the positions he wants, responding enthusiastically, and telling him it feels good.
③ What kind of women are adored by their papas in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)?
→ If your goal is to keep seeing someone, I don’t think you necessarily need to be adored. The important thing is making him want to see you again.
From what you’ve described, maybe there’s some underlying issue—perhaps you’re attractive but have body odor, are too passive in bed, make dates feel too businesslike, or aren’t very proactive when it comes to intimacy.
It seems like identifying and fixing the cause would be easier and lead to a solution faster than learning new techniques.
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I’m a male member here, “Paper Airplane.”
What I’m looking for is either:
- A girl who isn’t used to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), or
- A girl who has experienced papa-katsu enough to become discerning and is just about ready to move on from it.
So, in your case, I’d hope that your past experiences would help you recognize when you meet a genuinely good papa (a male supporter) for you.
When you can feel the “difference,” it shows in your expression, and you can sense how different he is from the people you’ve met before. As a man, that makes me want to quietly pump my fist in celebration.
But if you’ve had that much experience and still don’t feel any excitement, then the relationship will simply pass by uneventfully, like any other experienced papa-katsu woman’s arrangement, and the chances of continuing will become very slim.
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He’s good-looking, but I get the feeling he’s boring to talk to and not great in bed.
Wasn’t there someone who could ask him about that honestly?
You can tell he’s serious and sincere, so I think he could be a good fit as a kept partner.
Also, you could try leaving the allowance up to whatever he offers. Maybe he doesn’t see you as being worth 70,000 yen.
Marika
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
In my opinion, trying to reduce this kind of question to a general rule misses the point. For example:
In my case, I want enjoyable sex with a woman I have fun talking to. I think most people would agree with that much.
When it comes to sex, I look for a certain level of enthusiasm and technique from a woman. If the relationship continues for a while, I’d like her to genuinely like me as her papa. But I’m not really into being overly affectionate. I’d also prefer her to be open about her relationships with other men.
But this varies completely from man to man.
Some men prefer inexperienced women. Some want to hold hands or kiss in public. Others would absolutely hate the idea of her seeing other men.
So, there’s really no point in asking about the preferences of men other than the papa right in front of you.
Ultimately, I think the women who are adored by their papas are the ones who are a good match for that particular papa.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
If you’re receiving offers, I assume you’re more attractive than average. So please don’t take this the wrong way, but I wonder whether there’s something about your personality—something that makes men want to get to know you better.
For example, have you ever gone through a difficult time and overcome it through your own efforts? Have you ever devoted yourself wholeheartedly to something? Or achieved something at work and shared that accomplishment with your colleagues?
I believe experiences like these make a woman even more attractive on the inside than on the outside.
As I’ve mentioned before, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is ultimately a form of sales for working adults. Take a look at the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry’s “12 Fundamental Competencies” considered necessary for working adults. If you’ve developed those skills, I think you’ll be unstoppable at papa-katsu.
As for your questions 1–3, what papas look for in women varies from person to person, doesn’t it? I think successful papa-katsu women identify those needs by asking the right questions and then provide what each papa is looking for. Let’s do our best together.
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