I always learn so much from the Q&A here.

I’m Mac, a male member. Can’t women get money or gifts out of men while they’re still communicating through Letter Date? In the previous question, someone said they wanted to masturbate to photos of a woman they liked, right? So a woman could say, “I really need money this month. Would you buy some selfies if I sent them to you?” I feel that a truly skilled woman could get money out of a man even without photos or any other material. It all comes down to the woman’s skill, so the person asking this question should work on that.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. > Maybe I’m still inexperienced if I’m thinking about things like that… Exactly（笑） I think it’s best to make good use of the service while taking everyone’s answers into consideration.

I’m Dai, a male member. The advantage of a letter-based date is that you can find out what a man is really like before meeting him in person. Could it be that you simply don’t like men who send you an overwhelming number of LINE messages every day? You can think of it as him letting you know in advance that he’d be that kind of papa (a male supporter) once you started seeing each other.

I’m a confused man in my 60s. Letter dating initially involved a token payment for women, so why was that done away with…? Well, it’s not really about the money, but rather about men showing some restraint, isn’t it? I believe I’ve been using letter dating appropriately without relying on payment… at least, I think so. (汗)

I’m Taro, a male member. I think letter dating has unavoidable problems built into the system. It’s better for both sides to move toward meeting up quickly. Some people say that exchanging messages beforehand helps you get a sense of the other person, but I wonder how meaningful that really is. I mean, women will normally accept an offer once they receive one, even without any prior exchange. Since the assumption is that they’ll accept, the argument is that having more information beforehand is better—but first, I think women should be a little more consistent in their approach. Men tend to get lost in the process. Getting straight to the point would be quicker, but since women often don’t do that, men end up feeling things out cautiously. That’s when the fantasy of forming a relationship based on trust rather than money through LINE messages starts misleading men. In the end, even if a man proves over the first few exchanges that he isn’t some weirdo, puts her on slightly less of a guard, and they agree to meet, the moment he says, “I’ll cover your transportation,” if she’s a Type B, the conversation suddenly speeds up. At that point, he either snaps back to reality and returns to a transactional mindset, or loses interest—those are usually the only two outcomes（笑） What I’d like to ask of women is that, unless something is a definite dealbreaker, please go along with meeting up sooner rather than later. Think about what you would do if it were an ordinary offer. And then, please be a little more forgiving of men who get ahead of themselves. Is he genuinely an annoying guy, or is he simply getting carried away by the fantasy of letter dating? You can cut off the former, but the latter might be worth giving a chance if he can get his act together. There aren’t unlimited offers, so I hope people will value each opportunity.

This is Nana Ayase☆ As for letter dating… you can get some pretty intense LINE messages, can’t you? (汗) It’s surprising, especially when they come in the middle of the night… Since you’re asleep, if one comes through late at night, you can simply end the conversation by saying, “I have work tomorrow, so good night,” and stop responding. If you’ve lost interest in meeting that man, just let the staff know: “The sheer volume of LINE messages has been exhausting. Is it okay if I block him?”

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here as well. Men have already seen a woman’s photos and videos, and they know things like her height, weight, bust size, hobbies, and so on before making an offer. So maybe they’re simply thrilled to be able to exchange LINE messages with her. From the woman’s perspective, messaging someone you know nothing about can be worthwhile if you hit it off over shared interests. But you’re not there to find a friend or romantic partner. If there’s no compensation involved, I think any adult can understand that the more you message, the less interested you become. Unfortunately, though, it seems like 90% of the men here just don’t understand that. And if you try saying, “I’d like some compensation,” they start saying things like, “She’s only interested in money,” which makes things even more difficult. Still, at this point, if saying you want compensation ends the relationship, maybe that’s for the best. After all, even after meeting, you’ll have to exchange at least as many LINE messages as you do now—possibly twice as many. And afterward, he may even complain that you’re taking too long to reply. Also, men who aren’t willing to send you even ¥10,000 while you’re messaging may be the kind who say things like, “If it’s just dinner, you don’t need an allowance,” or, “I paid for the trip, so you don’t need an allowance, right?” If you look at it that way, it seems perfectly reasonable to assess him at this stage and choose not to meet him. So perhaps you could first send something like: “I want us to have a good time when we meet, so I’m going to stop replying on LINE from today until the day we meet.” Then simply not reply until that day. Of course, he may keep pestering you with messages like, “Why?” In that case, you could try to dodge the question tactfully. Or, if you’ve decided you really can’t deal with him anymore, maybe send: “I’d like compensation for the LINE messages as well.” But for some reason, the woman becomes the bad guy when she says she wants compensation, so I’d save that for when you’ve decided you no longer care whether you meet him or not. And when you do meet, if you only receive the allowance for that day’s adult relationship (intimate), you probably won’t feel like replying to his LINE messages afterward. So I think it would be better to add enough to the allowance that replying until your next meeting doesn’t feel like a burden. There will probably be around 100 LINE messages, so maybe add ¥10,000, assuming ¥100 per message? Or if you think there will be 200 messages, add ¥20,000. (Laughs) Of course, the extra amount for LINE messages should remain only in your own mind—you shouldn’t actually tell him that.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. With Letter Date, you have the option of saying, “I don’t want to meet,” and simply not meeting. That’s one of its advantages.

I’m Hikoki, a male member. As Kazu mentioned, letter dates have two main benefits. Until you actually meet, both people tend to be especially careful with each other. So if anything feels off at that stage, you can decide not to meet at all, which is a major advantage. Because everything is in writing, people can sometimes be very blunt and explicit, making it easier to judge them. At the same time, if you keep in mind that there may be circumstances or misunderstandings involved precisely because it’s all through writing, you’ll be able to make a fairer—and more discerning—judgment.

I’m in Seattle. A man who keeps bombarding you with free LINE messages without even sending any LINE Pay is not right in the head. I recommend putting up with it until you meet him once, seeing whether he offers a generous allowance or turns out to be a weirdo, and then blocking him from the second meeting onward.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I think the benefits for women are that they can get a general sense of what a man is like before meeting him, and that they have more opportunities because men are more likely to make offers casually through this service, since the introduction fee is lower than for a standard introduction. The other day, I met a woman I had contacted through Letter Date. She told me that her first introduction through a dating club had been a standard offer from a man with no profile, so she had felt extremely nervous. By contrast, since I had a profile and we had exchanged messages, she had a rough idea of what I was like and felt much more at ease. If someone’s enthusiasm is so intense that it wears you out, you don’t have to meet them in person. Several women I was seeing turned me down without meeting for that reason.