I’m a female member registered as Dating Type B. I have a question about first dates.

I’m Flag Maker, a columnist. This isn’t an hourly job! lol There are no set rules here—it’s a referee-free fight club where anything goes except low blows and eye gouging. Appealing to the referee after the fight is over, saying, “The other person broke the rules!” is pointless. There isn’t even a referee to begin with. You have to take them out before they take you out. You’re the only one who can protect yourself.

I’m date◎yume, a male member. > When every date takes four hours or more, and there’s no allowance for an adult relationship, I’m starting to feel reluctant about meeting new people. If you’re finding new dates burdensome, maybe it would be better to turn them down. Dating involves taking various risks, so if you already have someone you’re seeing, I think it’s better to focus on that relationship to help reduce those risks.

Maezawa from the executive office here, too. The idea of “two hours plus two hours, for a total of four hours” was how it was originally explained. I don’t think the staff are actually telling women that, though. I believe they’re saying something more like, “Please keep four hours open.” But four hours is far too long, so I’m explaining here what the original arrangement was supposed to be. Even the original “two hours plus two hours” was only meant as a guideline—something along the lines of, “Things will go more smoothly in the future if you spend about that much time together.” So there are no penalties if it goes over two hours. That said, should you simply ignore the guideline? A little leeway is understandable, but I think you should aim to finish within two hours. Four or six hours is completely out of the question. > Fewer than 10% of the men gave me an allowance for the two hours of free dating. Most men only have the idea that they should give an allowance when intimacy takes place. So if you don’t say anything, I suppose it’s only natural that the figure would be around 10%. What to do about this is ultimately up to you. Universe is simply explaining the basic concept. With free dating, the stance is that even ¥0 is acceptable as long as the woman is satisfied with that. But you’re not satisfied with that, are you? So it seems there are two ways to handle the situation. ① Leave after dinner, even if he invites you somewhere, and keep it dinner only. The difficult part is explaining why. If you say you don’t have time, it may be considered a rule violation, and if the club receives negative feedback, they may also see you as a woman who broke the rules. So you would need to leave without upsetting him, along the lines of: “Since my dating type is B, I was only planning to have dinner today. I’d be happy if you invited me again sometime.” “I see. Then how about getting some tea?” “Thank you, I’m happy you invited me. But I was only planning to have dinner today, so I’m sorry.” “Then let’s go out for drinks.” “Thank you. But I was only planning to have dinner today, so I look forward to you inviting me again next time.” “So, can we go to a hotel next time?” “That’s what I have in mind, but I’d also like to have a proper meal together.” ② Once dinner is over, tell him, “Since things are pay-per-meeting from this point on, I’d like an allowance.” However, 90% of men never imagine that an allowance would be given for anything other than intimacy. There’s a high chance he’ll think you’re overly money-focused and won’t see you again. As a result, many women actually want to leave but feel unable to, and end up enduring a painful four hours. It really depends on how you look at the situation. If he’s the kind of man you don’t mind having think you’re money-focused, you could take a chance and say it. If he offers an allowance and lets you leave, then he’s a good man, and probably someone worth continuing to see. So, although it’s difficult, never say, “I don’t have time.” Not even if your life depended on it. Once dinner is over, try to steer things toward leaving. I think that will help reduce your stress. Besides, a good man wouldn’t drag you around for four hours on the very first meeting anyway. (笑)

I’m Ayase Nana ☆ Wait, isn’t it ¥5,000–¥10,000 for dinner only? I don’t think there’s any allowance for two hours of dinner plus two hours of a transactional relationship, is there? You’re supposed to keep about four hours open, right? I wonder who told you that. I’ve only been doing this for about six months myself, but I’ve never heard anything like that. To the person who asked: if you’re Type B, I think you should be prepared for the possibility of an adult relationship (intimate) that day if you hit it off. If you don’t like that, choose Type A instead. Otherwise, the men may be confused.

I’m Hikoki, a male member. You may be better suited to Type A. Could you be misunderstanding Type B? For women who are Type B, it’s important to spend the necessary amount of time and meet enough times before moving on to the next stage of an adult relationship—getting to know each other, feeling comfortable, building trust, and so on. Building up that time is essential for developing a good relationship afterward and deepening the connection step by step. Certainly, if you’ve spent a long time together, receiving only transportation expenses for the first meeting doesn’t seem quite right. But assuming from the outset that there must be an allowance is also not ideal. Whether it’s the first meeting or a subsequent one, and whether you spend a short or long time together, men may also be thinking that it’s important to create as many opportunities as possible for a Type B woman to feel comfortable, take things slowly, and naturally progress toward an adult relationship. You should think carefully about what kind of relationship you want to build for yourself, how you would like to proceed in confirming whether you click, whether you’re Type A or Type B, how willing you actually are to move toward an adult relationship, and finally, whether you prioritize the allowance. Also, given your way of thinking, even if you spend four or six hours or more with someone, if the man isn’t satisfied, I feel it may be unavoidable that he won’t offer a generous allowance—or any allowance at all. If this happens less than 10% of the time, there must be some underlying reason. I think it would be good to reflect on what you could improve.

I’m Dai, a male member. I agree that four hours is far too long for dinner only. Six hours is even more astonishing—how do you find that much to talk about? That said, at least when I joined, I wasn’t told that the arrangement was “two hours for dinner, followed by two hours of private dating, for which an additional allowance would be paid.” (That information is from two years ago, so perhaps they explain it these days.) Early on, I sometimes spent about two hours having dinner, then went out for bubble tea or karaoke, but I didn’t pay any additional allowance. Recently, after reading the Q&A posts, I’ve started ending things after two hours of dinner. (There’s not much point in paying an allowance just to go to karaoke afterward.) If you feel the need to reiterate those terms, that’s a request for the club, so please contact the staff directly via LINE or another channel rather than posting it here.