I’m a male member. Even if I really like a woman, I prefer the first meeting to be dinner only and an adult relationship from the second meeting onward. If I make an offer to a Type C woman, should I tell the staff when making the offer, “Please let her know that there won’t be anything beyond dinner at the first meeting”?
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I’ve heard that even Type C women turn down about 50% of offers, so if there’s no need to go out of my way to mention it, I’m worried I’ll just come across as overly self-conscious, which is embarrassing. On the other hand, if she comes expecting an allowance for an adult relationship, I’d feel bad about that too, so I’m wondering whether I should mention it.
(Some people may say that I should simply offer the same allowance for dinner only as I would for an adult relationship, but I’ve never had that work out in a positive way, so I make a clear distinction between the dinner allowance and the allowance for an adult relationship.)
I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
It’s kind of hard to put into words, but I feel that when it comes to women, people who can adapt themselves to the other person tend to get better results in the end.
So I think it’s important to read the woman’s vibe and meet her where she is from the very first day.
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I’m Nana Ayase ♡
I’m a Type C as well. Since I’m usually asked to have an adult relationship (intimate) that same day, please let the staff know if it’s dinner only (no intimacy).
Women need time to prepare for all sorts of things too ☆
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I’ve met three women so far, and regardless of whether they were my type, I always ask the club to let them know that the first meeting will be dinner only.
In my case, I’m an older guy and not exactly handsome, but I do have plenty of time and financial leeway（笑）. I do this intentionally so they have enough time to decide whether they want to pursue an arrangement before we meet again.
As a result, two women met with me a second time. After that, one was suspected of being a dating-type scammer, and I ended up pursuing an arrangement with one（笑）.
The allowance was just transportation expenses, and we usually parted ways after about two hours.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I think there are various types of C-type women—some are more B-type, while others lean more toward D-type.
With someone who leans toward B, there probably won’t be any problem. But if she’s more D-type, she may go into the date expecting a certain allowance for an adult relationship (intimate).
If you absolutely have no intention of suggesting an adult relationship on the first date, I think it would be best to clearly communicate that through the club staff when making the offer, as mentioned in the question.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
That’s impressive. Even with such an attractive woman—despite her being a “C”—you don’t pursue an adult relationship (intimate). I really respect the composure you have as the person asking the question. That kind of confidence may be what makes someone popular at a dating club.
When it comes to a good girl, Fuu tends to think she probably has plenty of offers. If she happens to accept another papa’s offer the very next day, have H, and gets better terms, she might be taken before I know it—meaning her availability gets filled up. I don’t want to regret missing my chance, so I go for it when I can. If I have H but she doesn’t choose me for an ongoing arrangement, I accept it, move on, and make the next offer（笑）
To avoid disappointing her if you ultimately don’t choose her, it might be best to explain that when making the offer. Women probably need time to prepare, both physically and mentally.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
With a C-type arrangement, I can understand a woman thinking that an adult relationship should begin from the second meeting onward, but I can’t understand a man thinking that way.
I go to the meeting feeling obligated to go to a hotel on the very first day.
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here as well.
> Should I tell the staff something like that?
I think that would be best.
In the notes section when making the offer, write:
“For the first meeting, I’m planning to have dinner only and then part ways. If we hit it off, I’d like to consider an adult relationship (intimate) from the second meeting onward. Would that be okay? For that reason, it’s fine to set aside two hours rather than four.”
That message will also be conveyed to the woman when the offer is made, so she can come to the date knowing what to expect.
By the way, if you want to spend four hours together despite it being dinner only, please understand that the usual expectation is that once dinner is over, you’ll move into private time, with an allowance involved.
Thinking, “Since we agreed on four hours, it should be fine to go for drinks after dinner, right?” could put the woman in an uncomfortable position if no allowance is offered.
Even if you say you asked her and got her okay, please keep in mind that very few women feel able to refuse in that situation.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I feel it would be tactless to say “no sex” when we haven’t even met yet, so I wouldn’t say that. I also think it’s rude to assume that being a Type C means she’s agreeing to an adult relationship (intimate).
When making an offer on the site, I think there was an option along the lines of, “I’m thinking dinner only (no intimacy), so please feel free to come.” That might be worth selecting. However, it seems some women don’t realize that it’s simply an option you selected, so it’s something to think about.
When I’m not in the mood for sex, I sometimes end the first date after just having dinner. In those cases, before saying goodbye, I make sure she doesn’t feel left confused by saying, “I was thinking we’d just have dinner today,” and then asking whether she would be open to an adult relationship (intimate) with me and what allowance she would expect for one.
I agree with the idea that offering a large allowance for dinner only can put you in a difficult position later on.
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