I met a papa I found here for dinner only, with an allowance of 10,000 yen.

I’m Flag Maker, a columnist. That man knew exactly what he was doing—everything went according to plan. However, even if you break up with him, it won’t solve the root cause of what happened this time. That’s because you’ll end up repeating the same thing if a similar man comes along in the future. So, even though it may seem like strange logic when he’s clearly in the wrong, think of yourself as partly responsible for this situation so you can prevent it from happening again. Reflect on what you could have done differently, and make sure you don’t repeat the same pattern in the future.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. If you feel even slightly uncomfortable about what happened, don’t meet him again. There’s no point dwelling on the past now, so if he contacts you, just reply, “I can’t meet you anymore.” If you decide to continue with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), agreeing on the allowance in advance should be the bare minimum. Any man who treats that conversation carelessly is probably no good. If you can’t clearly say no to things you don’t want to do, papa-katsu probably isn’t for you. In the end, you’ll only get hurt.

I’m Fuu, a column writer. Whether you meet him again is entirely up to how you feel. You knew an adult relationship was involved, yet the way you wrote “and then penetration!” and “finish!” sounds like you were having at least a little fun. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but you don’t come across as though you hated it that much. If you don’t want to see him again, don’t. If you like your papa (a male supporter) and want to have sex, then I think it’s fine to meet him again.

I’m Aya, a female member. That sounds awful… I think you should block and delete him yourself before it completely destroys your self-esteem. Getting intimate without protection with an older man you don’t even like for just ¥10,000 is the kind of thing that could leave you traumatized. I feel so sorry for you. Maybe papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) just isn’t right for you, so take some time to rest and distract yourself with something else.

I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer as well. > I’m not very assertive, I’m easily influenced by others, and I’m the type of person who can’t express my own opinions. It’s fine not to be overly assertive, but being easily influenced and unable to speak your mind can be dangerous. I think you should first work on being able to express your own opinions. If you can’t do that, practice being able to say: “Sorry, I’m going home today.” Only agree to an adult relationship (intimate) when you’ve been able to clearly state your wishes. If you’re invited to a hotel, be sure to say: “My expectation is 50,000 yen. Is that okay?” (Use whatever amount you want.) If you feel you won’t be able to say it, then say: “Sorry, I’m going home today.” Act in a way that won’t leave you with regrets. > Should I have said right then, “There’s no way 10,000 yen is acceptable!”? No. Even if you say that on the spot, they often won’t offer you anything more. You should ask beforehand, “How much will the allowance be?” By “beforehand,” I mean no later than before taking your clothes off. Ideally, ask before going to the room. If I were you, I’d message him now: “I was disappointed that you only gave me 10,000 yen. I was expecting 50,000 yen.” (Enter the amount you want.) If he doesn’t want to pay that amount, things will probably end there. But if he still wants to see you at that amount, you should receive it from the next meeting onward. If he said he would pay a certain amount but didn’t, report it to the club. They can at least keep an eye on him as a dishonest man. Also, besides the allowance, it’s a good idea to communicate your wishes in advance—for example, that you absolutely want him to use a condom. The more terms (of the arrangement) you set, the more likely the man is to look for someone else. Still, I think you should decide while considering how far you can go without regretting it. It might also help to discuss everything in advance so you won’t have to say anything when you meet.

I’m Dai, a male member. Whether you should meet that papa (a male supporter) or not is entirely up to you. If you’re okay with having unprotected sex again for an allowance of 10,000 yen, then go ahead and meet him. But if he’s concerned about catching an STI, he may not want to be intimate with a woman who has unprotected sex. Personally, I wouldn’t make an offer to a woman who has unprotected sex.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I don’t think you’re suited to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so I’d suggest not meeting that papa (male supporter)—or any papas—at all.

Do whatever you want. Marika